The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
07/26/07
You captured that defining moment when all of us girls had to grow up. Your word choices were rich, beautiful and unique. The characters demanded our attention. Congratulation!
The characterization and descriptions in this delightful "slice" of growing up are perfect.
Your characterization was incredible! I like the way you incorporated the Bible verse which gave the entry a soothing ending after the intense occurrence.

07/26/07
This was such a fun read. Poor Annie... not quite ready to grow up. Your characters were well developed, and I could just see Annie kneeling into her mom's embrace when she returned home. Nice use of scripture, and I learned a new word I'd never known before! Nice work. Blessings, Cheri
07/26/07
Amazing characterization and descriptions! You definitely captured this moment in all its "glory."
Oh shining! This is wonderful - the voice felt similar to Harper Lee's in "To Kill a Mockingbird," my all time favorite. Great, great job~
07/26/07
I'm grinning ear to ear. De-lightful! I couldn’t help but be impressed by the way she could curl her lip up so far. made me laugh out loud. This is perfect: Shame melted me to the seat. What a word picture! The voice is spot-on for the age of your MC. Loved the humor. Great writing!
Your characterization is great in this story. Those were simpler times when such things embarrassed girls. No longer. Now they show straps...on purpose! Law!

Good job. I enjoyed it. You won't be in intermediate for long.
07/30/07
Dee, I really liked your story. I'm a fan of dialogue and characterization. Superb on both counts. Great message and use of scripture. God bless.
Wow
You brought me back to that moment- I was such a tomboy and can totally relate!
Excellant!
Annie reminded me of Scout in "To Kill a Mockingbird"
The voice seemed authentic and the atmosphere perfect.
Wonderful job on this "embarrassing" subject matter.
07/30/07
This is wonderful! You really captured the girls, especially the tomboy. Very Good!!! :-)
Excellent writing once again from a rising star!
Oh how I remember the humiliation of being a pre-teen! It had to have been two years straight that I refused to wear white for fear somebody might see, haha! Believe me, it's much worse when you develop "early," lol. I love the writing and the characters--I just wish I could have learned more about why her mom couldn't go with her. It sounded like there was an important story there, too. Great job!
07/31/07
This is masterful in setting and characterization--simply excellent.
Fantastic job capturing the personality of the MC. Excellent writing.
08/01/07
LOL! Aw, I feel bad for Annie...having it to happen that way. Embarassing and confusing! You certainly nailed that and with a cartload of emotion to match. Good job.
08/01/07
Great job with the characterization of the young tomboy and her older sister and friend. ^_^
Law, this is perfect! Wonderful vooice. Reminds me of when I used to go shopping with my sister and her friend. Very entertaining.
Girl are you ever versatile; you can write anything! I knew this would place first!! Knew it, knew it, knew it! Congratulations of first place!
08/02/07
Congrats on a great win!

Love the title! Love the story!
Congratulations...again! You're a winner!
08/02/07
***Congrats Dee!*** ^_^
08/02/07
Dee--Congrats...AGAIN!! This is "sweet". You are so good with the language.
Way to go!
08/02/07
Congratulations on the win!
A BIG congratulations on such a well deserved win, Dee! What a great story! You really captured THE experience delightfully!
This is embarrassing, but very funny too. Oh how hard it is to "grow up". I read this awhile back, but realized I forgot to comment. Good article.
04/26/08
Oh Dee! This is too funny. I remember my mom fitting a bra on me -- right in front of the whole world. Mortifying! And I remember doing that to my daughter, too. LOL! No wonder she hates to shop for clothes now! Thanks for sharing this! Too too funny!
Laury