Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Happy (07/12/07)
TITLE: BAT MAN BEACH TOWEL
By Paul Potenza
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I'm basically a zany guy.
Of course you ladies already realize that the terms "guy" and "zany" are interchangeable.
Just as a for instance, most gals are contented only when dozens of criterion have been met.
Let's take the bathroom for an example shall we?
A woman will look at this particular room and come up with one hundred different things that absolutely have to be done in order to make it habitable. There have to be soaps in the shape of seashells (which can never actually be used), matching towels coordinated with the shower curtain, toilet seat covers (also matching the shower curtain and towels) and heaven forbid that the wash cloths don't match. Then there's wallpaper with little ducks scurrying around and bath mats with that one little tricky mat that snuggles the toilet. Additionally there are scented candles coupled with an air filtration system that has been designed by NASA so that no one could ever tell that any bodily elimination had taken place in there since the Eisenhower administration. Also a bathtub so clean that you could safely perform neurosurgery in it providing the patient never actually bled because you know how tricky those pesky bloodstains can be. And so on.
Can I "tee-tee" in here? (I'm kidding of course...A real guy would never say "tee-tee".)
I don't understand how guys and gals ever get together on anything. We're such opposite creatures. Yet it seems like we're not happy alone. Trust me when I tell you that I have been alone a lot in my life. I was OK with that but I always felt like there was something missing. I think that guys secretly like the little amenities that women bring to their lives.
Guys are cavemen. They are dogs.
They would cheerfully sleep on a dirty mattress placed on a piece of plywood set on four concrete blocks. For a bedspread they would use their old Batman beach towel. They're OK on their own but it takes the fine touch of a special woman to make them whole. Although guys put up a big pretense about being domesticated, they truly appreciate the fact that someone cares enough about them to make sure that they don't go out the front door wearing mismatched shoes on their way to an important business meeting. (I really did that once.) Ha HA!
But you know what I remember about God? He knew that man needed woman to be happy. He gave man every chance. He brought all the creatures in the world before him and man named them. (I often wonder how man came up with the Wallaby.) But nothing was enough. You have to admit that no matter how much a man loves his old wallabees they just didn't fill the gap.
So God said "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 2) Then the Lord God made a Woman from the rib...and He brought her to the man...
Now I haven't included the whole scripture in here. I'll let you look it up for yourselves, but believe me, man was good to go with this arrangement.
He still is.
I'm currently listening to a song on my stereo called "Did You Boogie With Your Baby In the Back Row Of The Movie Show." It reminds me of when I was a young rebel. Wolfman Jack leads it off with an intro and he says "I hope that this song brings back a lot of beautiful memories for you." I remember soft warm kisses and secrets only she and I shared coupled with the first feelings of love.
I think Adam felt that for Eve. He exclaimed... "This now is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh."
It sounds like he was HAPPY.
For what it's worth, my wife and I still trade soft warm kisses and secrets that only she and I share. I wouldn't have it any other way but I am getting sick of this Batman beach towel.
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