The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/12/07
I thought your story was told very well. A couple of points to consider though, you might want to open up the story with paragraphs to help with the flow. Also the repetitive young boy, young shepard boy etc., use other adjectives to describe his youth if you feel the necessity to keep explaining that he was young. ie, immature, unskilled and so on. Keep up the good work
07/15/07
You did a good job telling a familiar story a new way. Thanks for sharing it!
07/16/07
Yay! A story about David and Goliath. I like how you describe David's careful selection of the stones. This Bible story is a PERFECT example of confident!!! Thanks!