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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Confident (07/05/07)

TITLE: Something like the wind
By Victoria Tkachuk
07/11/07


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They stepped gingerly out the front door and onto the sidewalk. The day was formidable, threatening rain and overall unpleasant. She hadnít planned on being discouraged so quickly.
The air hung with humidity, damp on her skin. Worms crawled across the sidewalk busily. Ants wrestled with crumbs of bread, heavy from moisture. Everybody on their way without hesitation, except her.
Drip. Oh, if it starts now, I wonít get very far, she thinks. She looks at the sky; still grey, still dark, wind swirling the clouds. Drop. She looks to her companion. Amazingly, sheís smiling.
ďItís all right,Ē the smiling woman says. ďIt wonít rain yet, I know it wonít. You just do what you need to do.Ē
What can I do? she thinks. A look down the long, wide sidewalk dwarfs her. She shivers from the cool, wet breeze. If I donít go now, I never will, she observes. A deep breath precedes a pause: What if I fall? What if she leaves me here? What if I canít do it on my own? She looks to the smiling woman once more. Is it really all right?
ďIíll be here to help you. Even if you get away from me, I can catch up. Even if I canít catch you, youíll be fine. Iím sure of it. Just go.Ē
Just then, something takes hold of her. Not the wind exactly, but something like it, wrapping its arms around her, then taking her hand away from Momís and leading her down the sidewalk.
This was my first time walking on my own with Him.


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This article has been read 706 times
Member Comments
Member Date
terri tiffany07/14/07
You write very descriptive - good verb choices - might want to drop some adverbs like busily. This was short but packed with emotion. The last line shifted abit but the meaning was clear. Good work!
Janice Cartwright07/14/07
I too loved your descriptions and word choices. Keep writing and may God bless your talent.
Dee Yoder 07/14/07
Your story drew me in! It has a different point of view and is very descriptive.
Cathy Kane07/17/07
Loved your story. I think that it would be more impressive if you formatted the story a little differently - spaced between paragraphs and capped your title. Other than that, great writing!
Victoria Tkachuk07/19/07
Hi! I'm really sorry about the formatting problems! The original text did have proper paragraphs and apostrophes instead of question marks. I should double check before I submit! The version uploaded to my own 'reprint articles' is fine. Thank you for wonderful comments and for reading!
-Victoria