The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 828 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
07/14/07
You write very descriptive - good verb choices - might want to drop some adverbs like busily. This was short but packed with emotion. The last line shifted abit but the meaning was clear. Good work!
I too loved your descriptions and word choices. Keep writing and may God bless your talent.
07/14/07
Your story drew me in! It has a different point of view and is very descriptive.
07/17/07
Loved your story. I think that it would be more impressive if you formatted the story a little differently - spaced between paragraphs and capped your title. Other than that, great writing!
Hi! I'm really sorry about the formatting problems! The original text did have proper paragraphs and apostrophes instead of question marks. I should double check before I submit! The version uploaded to my own 'reprint articles' is fine. Thank you for wonderful comments and for reading!
-Victoria