The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/14/07
Good story, lot of good content here, a seed planted even in a concrete jungle.
06/15/07
Very good story. It reminds me of the life the "orphans" (street kids) live in Russia, Romania, etc too.
A look into the life of a teenager in another country ... God cares about each individual - wherever and whoever they are and whatever their situation.

This is certainly true to some people's lives. A little less "telling" and a little more conversation would have be interesting. The pov is very good.
06/16/07
I love the voice. Much to think about here.
Good job. Well written. The voice is very authentic. Keep up the good work!
Your story is my favorite so far in level 2. I think the reason I like it so well is the voice is consistent throughout, matter-of-fact, and the tone conversational. I could hear Carlos' voice in my head as if he were speaking directly to me. In my opinion, very good writing!!
06/20/07
I like your story very much. Many teens, unfortunately, can understand where your main character is coming from. Interesting and good writing.