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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Write something in the YOUNG ADULT or TEEN genre (06/07/07)

TITLE: Lindi's Heart
By Pam Carlson-Hetland


Lindi-Jo liked to imagine her locker was the wardrobe from The Chronicles of Narnia. She pictured passing through into a new world--one in which she was victorious in the end. Standing in the empty hall, she struggled to breathe. That heavy feeling was back. Glancing toward approaching footsteps, dread squeezed her heart. Lindi gathered her books, preparing for what came next.


Misha called to Guryon, "Take up your sword. We've been summoned." Instantly they were beside Lindi-Jo. Upon their arrival, the spirit of Despair withdrew from her and fled.

"Wherever did you find THAT sweatshirt?" Britney sarcastically drawled, "Goodwill?"

Lindi’s silence didn’t detour her. "Like my new jeans?" Britney asked, pivoting her willowy frame to show the designer label.

As other students arrived, Britney leaned closer so only Lindi could hear. "That new girl––the one you eat lunch with–I asked her to be my study buddy. Lindi felt gut-punched. She and Sara had really hit it off; but Britney’s invitation meant death to that friendship.

"And Chad...I know you like him," Britney paused, eying Lindi's curvaceous figure with disgust "but he's mine!" she hissed. With a final warning look, Britney sauntered away to join her clique.


"Call the Comforter, Guryon. He is needed." Misha instructed.

"Why did we not fight for this human?" Guryon demanded. "The spirit of Jealousy was upon that other human girl. Did you not see it?"

"Yes, I did; but the Lord restrained me. It was not time. The strengths of this human must be tested and shaped. He has a special plan for her." Misha explained.

"Is this not a Christian school?" Guryon asked.

"What better place for the Enemy to set up a stronghold? The parents of these young humans send them here for training in the ways of our Lord. But many have not yet made Faith their own. The Prince of Darkness infiltrated. Demons are dispatched to snatch the Word away before it grows."

Guryon looked around. Shadowy figures whispered in students’ ears and flitted in and out of classrooms. Other angels, like him, fought for those they guarded. Students filed into classrooms, unaware of the Enemy’s strategy to capture their minds and hearts or of the battle raging around them. Guryon would have joined the fight, but Misha stopped him.

"Then why were we summoned?"

"The mother prayed."


"If you make me go back to that school next year, I'll get myself expelled." she flatly stated. Her mother studied Lindi's face--nodded sadly. Tomorrow, they would tour a public school. Lindi was both relieved and nervous.


Misha and Guryon walked on either side of Lindi through the halls of Midtown High School. A smile lit her pretty face as new friends invited her to join them. Despair had departed permanently.

"Will this not make our assignment more difficult?" Guryon asked.

Misha nodded, "In many ways. The Enemy can operate more openly here. But there are many believers. See who joins us? Amita, who bears witness to truth, and Bina brings understanding."


"The mother called for more prayer support."


Lindi was so excited, giggles burst out. She felt beautiful. The frothy prom dress fit perfectly and accentuated her eyes. Her handsome date offered his arm.

"Welcome to the Midtown Junior-Senior Prom.” The school administrator announced.
“Leading our procession tonight is Senior Class President, Shane Rockman, and his date, Lindi-Jo Hanson." Lindi glided confidently beside Shane leading the circle of prom couples around the dance floor.

Music played loudly until all couples had made the processional walk and lined up along the stage, leaving Shane and Lindi in the center to begin the first dance. Directly across the dance floor stood Britney. Dressed in her mother’s catering business service uniform, a tray of appetizers smashed at her feet, she stared at Lindi. The shocked stare became red-faced embarrassment as she bent to clean up spilled food. At first, Lindi delighted in this moment of sweet revenge--enjoying the spotlight while her adversary was humiliated. But revenge is not sweet for long. Compassion rose up for the one who had been so cruel to her.


Misha and Guryon accompanied the prom couple home.

"The Lord saw the girl’s heart tonight and was pleased with her progress." Misha reported.

"Our duties are complete then?"

Misha shook his head. "This is a long-term assignment. She has not yet found the Lord's will for her life, and...”

“The mother is praying." Guryon concluded.


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This article has been read 1358 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Kristen Hester06/14/07
Wow! This is great. A "This Present Darkness" and "Cinderella" wrapped into one. Good job. Linda's thougts were so real and I was happy for a happy ending to the story. Congrats.
Jeannie Brooks06/15/07
This is a wonderful piece. Our teens need to see the potential of having heavenly protection in their lives, with all the possibility that brings to them. You're gifted and I look forward to reading more of your postings.
Joanne Sher 06/16/07
Oh, this is EXCELLENT! Your characterization and story development are wonderful.
dub W06/16/07
oooh, this is wonderful and perfect for teens.
Catrina Bradley 06/17/07
Absolutely love it! Don't change a thing. :)
Benjamin Graber06/19/07
I like the two-sided story, and I'm sure most teens would, too! Great job!
Edy T Johnson 06/19/07
This is a most satisfying read! No loose ends left dangling---I particularly enjoyed your bringing Britney back on the scene in her much different role. The behind-the-scenes look at the spiritual battle gave the depth of understanding I'm sure teens would (or should) appreciate. I hope you find a market for this story that God will make good use of for the Kingdom. Great job, Friend!
Jan Ackerson 06/19/07
I love everything about this piece, and most especially the ending.
Brenda Welc06/20/07
I was a bit confused at first but then I figured out what was going on. I especially like the part about the mom praying. This is so true about moms and daughters. I thought this was a absolutley (sp) great essay. god was blessing you are you wrote.
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/20/07
This is an outstanding story. I hope it places.
Mo 06/21/07
Good job!
Jacquelyn Horne07/25/07
I don't know how I missed this, but I've been very busy lately. It is a lovely example of prayer and forgiveness. No wonder it was a winner.