The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1208 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
06/07/07
I don't usually leave comments, but I really enjoyed this one. It has a nice message for us adults who don't want to be told what to do by our Father.
06/07/07
I like it! It gets the point across in a smooth story. You grabbed my attention and kept it.
I liked this so much that I called my 7 year old daughter and read it to her. She said, "That's pretty good." I hope she gets the point of it as well...
What children don't realise is that adults also do not have the freedom to do exactly as they please. A lovely story that illustrates the importance of rules and discipline in our lives. I like the way that discipline is equated with love or caring. Great job!
06/09/07
What an excellent object lesson! This is great.
06/10/07
Excellent lesson, brilliantly told. Appeals to kids and adults alike, I'm sure of it. Sometimes, tragically, the burnt hand is the best teacher.
06/10/07
Very cute story with a wonderful message for children AND adults! Sometimes we grown-ups get too busy telling kids what to do and don't ever ask what they would LIKE to do. We forget to play with them, help them, and praise them! Good message to kids,too, on obedience, submission to authority, etc. I enjoyed this very much! :)
06/10/07
Very good story and a strong message! How well I remember being "bossed" as a child. I think children would relate well to your story and even enjoy learning the lesson in it!
I love this. Would make a good kids book. You could expand so much on this.
06/11/07
Liked the last line.
06/12/07
I liked this very much! I think it'd have even more impact if it weren't just a dream, if all of the people in Hannah's life had simply agreed not to tell her what to do for a day. That'd be a lesson she'd never forget, while dreams often fade away.

Your writing is top-notch, and you have just the right voice for children's reading.
This is an excellent story with a really great message.
Very good lesson story. Children love to read these kind of stories.
06/13/07
What a wonderful way to teach such a lesson! I didn't get that it was a bad dream, but then it's probably just me.

Either way - it's another awesome story you have here!
06/13/07
A wonderful story with lesson neatly wrapped inside! Love it!
***Congrats on your placing...and on an excellent story! The message is great and I loved the character of Hannah.
Kristen - I echo the other comments and agree the voice is perfect for the age group. I like the neat way you tied everything together providing a satisfactory finish.
06/14/07
CONGRATULATIONS on your win for this great story! :)
Very nice story and well-deserved award placement. Keep up the good writing!
Kristen,
I enjoyed this story! It's very creative and well-written, and LOOK, it did very well. Congratulations!
Well done Kristen...I really enjoyed reading this cleverly told story. Keep up the great writing!!
07/28/07
Thanks for this! I just hunted it down to read to a certain young child... :-)