The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
Well written. Wish I knew if Tim was ok or not.
You did a good job pulling me into the story.
Angela Posey-Arnold
06/02/07
I like the open-ended conclusion here...and the wish to have those 30 minutes back.

In this sequence...

Tim leaped from his position above the gap. His bungee unwrapped and pulled nearly taut. Art stared at Tim’s twisted body below.

...you really need something between "taut" and "Art" telling exactly what happened. I had to re-read several times to figure it out.

Regrets are really horrid, aren't they? Good story.
Well written. Interesting.