The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/03/07
Wow, I sure wasn't expecting that ending!

This reads like a movie--well done.
This is very well written. I'm not into enjoying such, but that doesn't take away from the craftmanship here.
06/05/07
Loved the action and suspense here and surprise ending. One suggestion: the phrase "I care, because . . ." has a very modern day ring to it. Not sure when you're wanting this to take place, but when the characters spoke I got a feeling of present day slang, which might not be appropriate if this happened long ago. Just a thought for you. Otherwise, this was a very enjoyable read. I loved it.
06/06/07
Great sense of place. Fascinating, and I loved your ending.
06/07/07
What an awesome story foreshadowing the empty tomb of the Greatest One of all! Well thought through. So well written!
06/09/07
An enjoyable read. Good sense of place and characterisation with convincing dialogue. Just one comment on dialogue tags: 'he snapped at her.' You don't need to write 'at her' because the reader knows who is being addressed. Well done in placing second in Level 2.
yeggy from Darwin.