The Official Writing Challenge
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Our greed can only last a lifetime. Our pleasures are there for eternity.
05/26/07
Your poem helps me visualize how easily we can be lured into accepting things that aren't at all important to our life and souls. I especially like the descriptions of greed in the beginning lines of this poem.
05/26/07
Point taken! Helps me see things in proper perspective again.
I got a bit lost in the last 2 stanzas, then realized at the end that it was God talking. Could that have been enclosed in quotes ("..")?
05/26/07
This is almost two poems for the price of one; the first speaker is totally different than the voice of God at the end. Very impressive!
How I enjoyed reading this poem. The title is quite intriqueing to say the least. Also, the poem is a kind of lesson for those who want everything NOW.
Good title. Well written. Envy and greed trouble our lives and we forget that God just wants us to relax in what He is so willing to give us. His love with all the added bonuses.
05/28/07
I like this. It's a testament to everyday life. Good work.
05/29/07
The subject matter is great...and has a message for us all; but as for the poetic form, it wasn't the usual rhyming type of poetry, but perhaps an expert could pinpoint it better than I. But I liked the message.