Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Write in the POETRY genre (05/17/07)
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TITLE: Because I Care | Previous Challenge Entry
By Victoria Weathers
05/17/07 -
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SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
I put our relationship on the line
Trying urgently to block a perilous bypass
For I have traveled the very road which calls to you
A road filled with deceiving images
Troubled for you, in prayer I toss and turn on my bed
Because I care, I dare to speak and warn of things in store
As pride takes you further away from truth
And deceitfully an angel of light whispers, “Come.”
Ever so skillfully, you’re distracted from your fate
So sure I’m too ancient to understand
Spellbound by his trap just as he premeditated
Because I care, I dare to tell someone who can help
If I can’t reach you maybe this one can
I can not merely watch you naively wreck your soul
I can’t sit back and allow you to destroy yourself
No matter how mad it makes you at me
Because the love of Christ compels me to make a stand
Because He cares and I’m His, through me He calls to you
He wants to give you a future and hope
“Lord, use me! Whether it be my voice, a look, my life”
He reaches through time and space to save your drifting heart.
Who am I? A mere rescued soul.
Just like you, I was rescued from pride’s deep deception.
He placed someone in my path to stand, to speak and to tell
Though I did not welcome it at the time
I am so glad He found someone willing to be used.
I am forever changed! I am still being rescued.
I will even risk losing our friendship.
Because I truly…but even more He truly cares.
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But, I didn't get this one, sorry. Maybe someone else will, poetry isn't my strong suit.
Two little things that I noticed (but didn't detract from the message):
In this line "Ever so skillfully, you’re distracted from your fate" I knew you meant Satan was very skillful at distracting the young believer, but it almost sounded as if the young believer was the one who was being skillful.
This line "Just like you, I was rescued from pride’s deep deception" sounds as if the young believer has been rescued already but the whole concept of the poem is that the young believer NEEDS rescuing before it is too late.
I loved these lines:
"For I have traveled the very road which calls to you
A road filled with deceiving images," and
"He placed someone in my path to stand, to speak and to tell
Though I did not welcome it at the time
I am so glad He found someone willing to be used."
Those two places made me think. Thanks for sharing.