The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/10/07
I really enjoyed this story! Great realistic dialogue and specific descriptions--I could see everything and almost taste the exotic foods.
The characters all came to life--even the orange cat!

I loved the unusual title, which sparked my curiosity right away. Wondered for awhile what this story had to do with cats, but that bit of dialogue near the end explained it perfectly!
Great job! I forgot to tell you that I have a friend named Patrick O'Malley. :-)
Good job bringing this story to life...
05/11/07
Very well presented. A quick note or two, watch how many speech tags are used (he said). Also, try to show us, rather than tell us.
In all, this essay has merit, although the hint was there, I wonder how many other readers will realize it was Jewish family, other than the father's prison time and the milk discussion (twice) it was hidden, and in this essay, that was a great idea.
Enjoyable read, easy to visualize the descriptions. Your weaving hints that they're Jewish, I felt, was groundwork for some revelation, conflict, or surprise ending. So, for me the ending was flat. With such vivid characters, the possibilities for expanding your story are limitless.
05/14/07
Love the title (I'm a cat person) and this little slice-of-life. You made these people very real.
05/14/07
Subtly-handled microcosm of the Nazi-Jew tension. Well done.
An entertaining read. As others have mentioned, this has "clues" throughout. I did think the ending could have used a little punching up, but it was a good piece. It held my attention throughout.
05/14/07
Great detail and sense of place. I agree with punching up the ending, but this was a very strong piece otherwise.