The Official Writing Challenge
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Great ending! You got your point across in a "very pointed way!" (Pardon the pun.)
This is an excellent read. The flow and transitions are great. The descriptions with details are on target. The ending is excellent. It is chilling to think that Jesus Loves Us So Much that He would take a pin to make that point so very clear. Thank you for sharing. P.K.
05/03/05
This article really shows life as it is. I liked how well you showed the realities of a retail Christmas
05/03/05
I enjoyed your article. It reminded me of my own stint as a gift basket maker one Christmas in a gift shop. I could not believe people were so nasty!

Great job!
05/03/05
Good transition. Story flows well, but I wish it could have been just a bit longer to deal with her feelings once she had gotten the "point".
Christmas will forever be my favorite time of the year. I, too, get discouraged when I see that the reason for the season is displaced.

Your article clearly showed your disdain with all the hoopla and goings-on. I cringed as I remember what I hate about the commercialization of my favorite time of the year. Good job.
I can understand the feelings here very well. But I loved the ending, the way Jesus (who else could it have been) laid the pin where it would make the most impression!
05/04/05
I am also a cashier. I work at a grocery store. Some years they have told me that Christmas Eve is sometimes more busy than the day before Thanksgiving! I know how you feel. Jesus is the reason...I constantly have to remind myself too of that.
05/05/05
I'm glad in your title you included the phrase 'a true story'. What an amazing story! If it were fiction, I'd have said, "Ah, too cutesy", but knowing it is true, wow, what a testimony of God's input! I LOVE your description of the checkout lines too! Well done!
Great true story! It flowed with such great descriptions that I felt I was watching a movie. The end was wonderful!
05/06/05
Isn't it sad that the joy seems to have gone out of Christmas? I have noticed the same things you did and it breaks my heart! With some tightening up, this would be wonderful magazine / devotional material for the holidays. Great job!
Blessings, Lynda
05/06/05
I loved it. Very easy to read and the ending made me laugh in spite of the season dismay.
05/09/05
Delores, Congratulations on your highly commended award. I have to tell you that the ratings for all the semi-finalists this week were very, very close - most were just a breath away from one another. So well done! With love, Deb
How true! Oftentimes, I find myself thinking the same thing...hating the lines, the crowds, and the length of time it takes to purchase... the hype of the shopping season sometimes makes us forget that Jesus Christ is the only reason we celebrate the season. Nice job, thank you for sharing your story!
Cheryl
11/16/05
Hi Delores. I'm just preparing the December/Christmas Issue of FaithWriters' Magazine, and would really love to include this in the 'Tis the Season section. It's perfect! You rated very well in this particular Challenge (10th overall) and I would love to see this piece get another airing. Could you send me a private message to let me know if that would be okay? I will also need a two to three sentence bio note (in the third person) to go with it. Look forward to hearing from you. Love, Deb (Editor, FaithWriters' Magazine)