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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Write an INSPIRATIONAL or DEVOTIONAL piece (04/26/07)

TITLE: Open Petals
By Emily Gillilan
05/02/07


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Paused petals in midair
warm caught sun reflections
on rippled water and pink
pale peach spills
on the blue sky of
a Monet painting
hold no candle to the life glowing
in her widened grey eyes

She peers through thick waves
of glass out
like a mouse trapped at its hole
out into the whist black of night

With her tip toes on ceramic tile
florescent illumination eerily glosses
her tiny nose and tints the mussed ends
of hanging curls
dangling off puffed posied shoulders
on her nightgown

She clenches her knuckles and teeth and
presses her forehead to the cool thick glass
sneaking her fingers up to click
open the door


Her eyes go out first
widened in fear and pleasure
and God himself ushers her with His stars

Standing in the open air misty
breezes twirl through the holes of her
ruffled skirt delicately pushing back
on the bareness
of her ankles

The carnation she carries in her palm
tips over by the weight of its head
as she’s taken into His presence

Her breaths warm
as they scoot down the flesh
of her throat into her belly
filling her through to the inside

Drops of wet tears inch coolness
over the apples of her cheeks and
she begins to believe this God must be more
than an idea or essence to meditate on

Yes
even nodding
pushing into this unknown
she believes God must be a someone
not a something

The stars brighten
fireflies light in an oval of stage in front as if
flicked on by her eyes’ glance

her heart
almost too heavy to move
all at once remembers the flower
and over flows with exuberance
to give something to Jesus

Almost running
her wet soles through puddles on the deck
in each step she moves closer to Him

Upon reaching the rail
His lovely gaze is in her
Smiling

Adorned with His night air radiating
on the grey of her eyes
her pink fingers pinch the steam up
and let the petals lie open for God to receive them


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 05/07/07
What an absolutely lovely poem!
Sharlyn Guthrie05/07/07
your word choices are delectable! I would only suggest editing a little more carefully, (over flows should be one word, and perhaps 'steam' should have been 'stem'?) You are a gifted poet, and I hope you will keep inspiring us with your gift.
Benjamin Graber05/08/07
Beautiful poem! You did a lovely job with this one...
I would suggest that you consider adding punctuation to make this poem clearer and easier to read.
Keep up the good work!
Blessings,
Ben