The Official Writing Challenge
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God had been with them every step of the way. How wonderful. Thanks for the reminder. I liked the way you opened and closed the piece. Thanks for sharing.
05/07/07
A moving story--glad he saw the light!

Parts of this are more "telling" than "showing." One way to show us Mike's struggles might be though dialogue, or by other interaction with Kari.

I liked your happy ending.
Heartwarming story. Encouraging.There are a few redundancies (things repeated or that don't need to be said because they are already apparent)but that can be taken care of in careful editing/tightening. The article itself is very good and encouraging.
05/08/07
"He had begun to turn his back on God. The very events that were to be used to strengthen his faith were turning him away." This sentence sums up many Christians' responses to trials. You did a great job of illustrating how God never left, and it is often in the letting go of our own will and our own efforts that He can begin to move. Blessings, Cheri
I think this is my favorite of what I've read so far - you did a great job of tying the ending with the beginning in an inspiring way, and touching my heart with your story. Great job!
05/09/07
The glimpse into these lives was good and a good reminder for us. Too often we let things pull us away from Christ--glad Mike saw this and turned back. Good job.
The love between these two was palpable - being able to bring this out in words is great in and of itself, but your message, that we may turn our backs on God, but he never turns His on us - is even more a wonderful testiment to your skill. Thank-you for sharing.
05/09/07
I enjoyed this very much. Knowing it is a true story, I think it might have been even stronger written in the first person - but that is just my opinion. I also would have liked to see some more dialogue or descriptions rather than being told in some instances, but this is a great piece.
05/09/07
This rings so true. Very good sketch of a couple's journey to acceptance of the Lord's will. Thanks for sharing it
05/09/07
So glad that Mike came through and went 'back'. I was really rooting for him. The little bit of scripture in the middle was good, but a little out with the storyline, kind of like a bump. Maybe if you had Mike reflecting and writing out the story to himself or talking it over with his wife, it would fit in better. Otherwise, this is good! ^_^