The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/06/07
I love the abrupt change in mood toward the end of this piece, and the end gives me goose bumps! Nice job.
This is very well done. I could feel the anxiety and fear while trying to escape the storm. Great ending, too.
I really like your writing style. You kept me engaged to the end.
05/07/07
"this ghastly picture of a giant demon hovering above, shooting lightning bolts at us from the tips of his pointy, grotesque fingers"
Great image. The frantic pace of your writing conveyed the seriousness of the moment, I think you met your objective, well done.
Your title lured me in, since I enjoy mountain bike riding and I enjoy Jesus. This was great writing throughout. I felt I was on that ride with you (from the safety of my computer chair).

In Jesus' Name,

Patricia
Can't write much.I'm tired from peddling along with you! Very vivid description. Good devotional.
05/08/07
Excellent, excellent piece with a powerful message! This had me on the edge of my seat, and I could picture the whole scene unfolding! Wow! I love how you ended it, too!
05/08/07
I just have to add that when the three of you were huddled in the shelter, and you said you knew Jesus was with you, too, I immediately thought of the three young men in Nebuchandezzar's fiery furnace who were joined there by the Son of God!
05/08/07
Wow! Great writing. Great description. Usually I tend to avoid using a series of long sentences with lots of commas; however that writing style served your purposes here excellently, by perfectly conveying the emotion of the MC's.

I also loved the mood change at the end. It's like that when we look through His eyes, we are flooded with peace.

This is one of my favorite lines: "I had never smelled the earth burning from the excruciating pain of an electrical shock..." Well done! Cheri
05/08/07
Wooo! *chills* We drove over the White Mountains just a week ago today and we were on just the edge of a storm. I wondered what it'd be like to be in the middle of it--now I know!! My heart was in my throat throughout this. I love how the storm changed into worship and praise--I was singing 'How Great Thou Art' with you! Very good job!!
05/08/07
Excellent description - you had me right there with you. This definitely felt like a piece that should be in a higher level. :)
05/08/07
Mastercrafted! Great title and the inspirational message right on target.
05/08/07
I'll admit your title intrigued me, much like the title of a song I heard once titled "I'll be a cowboy for Jesus." LOL. Yours was a very good read and well done. One question, though: what are you doing in this challenge level? Time to move on up, don't you think?
Good job!
Wow pewerful imagery with exceptional, tense palpable writing. The tie into the theme could not be better. In a word this was "excellent" with a very relevant message. Can't see you in this level for long - keep writing and sharing your gift.
Loved this piece! No wonder it got a highly commended, Congrats! Excellent writing! ^_^
05/10/07
Wow.