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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Write in the ROMANCE genre (04/19/07)

TITLE: Two Lovers
By lynn rodgers
04/25/07


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The young god walked the courtyard as he did every evening when he laid his eyes on the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Her crimson curls flowed to her broad hips. Her eyes were two sapphires flaming with life. Her figure was long and lean and her face flawless porcelain. He wondered in circles, never taking his eyes off her as she did him.

She had come to the courtyard to find something more. This night she found him. His saffron hair fell into his deep emerald eyes. His bronze muscles towered to six feet. They were mesmerized by the other. Neither made the first move out of fear of ruining the perfect moment yet both did. The god courted his love for millennia. They sailed on comet tails and danced on starburst. He went to the far reaches of the universe and gathered the most precious stones. He crafted a ring that gleamed with all the colors imaginable even in the darkest of darks. He asked for her hand in marriage with this ring and it never left her finger.

A century later they had the most spectacular wedding of all time. The bride didn’t even need her flowing white gowns to extenuate the pure beauty that was hers alone. All the stars and planets, angles and gods attended. In the very back sat the groom’s serpentine brother, Sin. When Sin saw the wonderful bride he was filled with envy and lust. He swore to himself he would have his brothers bride for his own even if it took a hundred millennia.

That night the groom and bride made sweet love so pure and grand she bore a planet from her womb. The planet teamed with life. It was a happy little planet and the intelligent life form worshiped the lovers for there good fortune. I return the god and bride often walked the planet and communed with its people. Everyone and everything was happy and grand…everything besides Sin.

The lovers had been wed for a hundred millennia when the god had been called away to business. Sin came while the god was away and sang a curse in the bride’s ear. She fell under it and blindly followed him to his bedchamber. She laid with him there but was not happy. Every century or so she broke free from the spell and would attempt escape. Sin would always whisper his curse and enslave her once more.

When the god returned home he became enraged and lonely for he knew what his wicked brother had done. He abandoned the planet in search for his love. He swore to never rest till he found her. Without the god or his bride to watch over the planet it began to die. It became dismal and bleak. First its people worshiped less, then they cursed the lovers, then all but a handful even remembered the god or his love.

Countless time passed when the bride was lying with Sin and spotted a glimmer from her left. She looked to it and saw all the colors imaginable gleaming from her engagement ring. She instantly broke free of her curse and ran for the door. The snake hissed his spell but it had no affect for standing in the doorway was his bother. The two loves embraced with all the passion of the years. Sin, being evil, could not handle the sight of such perfect love and withered into nothing.

The groom carried his bride home and they made love ten times sweeter than they’re first. All life was restored to the planet. And the people worshiped the god and his love once more. There was celebration all across the universe of defeat of evil and the reunion of love. All was good and everyone lived happily ever after.


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This article has been read 583 times
Member Comments
Member Date
julie wood04/26/07
A beautiful allegory! Wonderfully vivid descriptions--I could just see the couple at the story's beginning, and it took me awhile to realize they were more than a flesh and blood couple.

Some typos. In paragraph 4, "there" should be "their" and "I" "in." In the next to last paragraph, "affect" should be "effect" and in the last, "they're" should be "their."

My favorite line in this:"...she bore a planet from her womb." What an original description of creation! Great job!
Sherrie Jackson04/26/07
I love mythology and I think the beginning is awesome. I was so captured in the story that I didn't realize I was actually reading anything until halfway down. Such mesmerizing writing! And so grand, too. The allegory is perfect. And props for being brave enough to put in the parts about...well...you know. *wink, wink* :-)
dub W04/30/07
Masterful allegory, written on a professional level.
Jan Ackerson 05/01/07
Nice job. This will seem silly, but what I liked most was the fact that she had "broad hips." Woo hoo, let's hear it for broad-hipped goddesses!
Denise Pienaar05/02/07
A very unusual approach to the topic. I loved the imagery in this story and the promise at the end that sin will be defeated. Keep on writing.