The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 719 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/26/07
A beautiful allegory! Wonderfully vivid descriptions--I could just see the couple at the story's beginning, and it took me awhile to realize they were more than a flesh and blood couple.

Some typos. In paragraph 4, "there" should be "their" and "I" "in." In the next to last paragraph, "affect" should be "effect" and in the last, "they're" should be "their."

My favorite line in this:"...she bore a planet from her womb." What an original description of creation! Great job!
I love mythology and I think the beginning is awesome. I was so captured in the story that I didn't realize I was actually reading anything until halfway down. Such mesmerizing writing! And so grand, too. The allegory is perfect. And props for being brave enough to put in the parts about...well...you know. *wink, wink* :-)
04/30/07
Masterful allegory, written on a professional level.
05/01/07
Nice job. This will seem silly, but what I liked most was the fact that she had "broad hips." Woo hoo, let's hear it for broad-hipped goddesses!
A very unusual approach to the topic. I loved the imagery in this story and the promise at the end that sin will be defeated. Keep on writing.