A small tear rolled down a flushed cheek, through a stubble-strewn chin, pausing momentarily to gather itself before helplessly falling to the paper-filled desk below.
“I can’t do this,” Rodger admitted verbally.
Sitting silently at the desk situated in his living room for the past three hours should have allowed him ample time to complete his task. On the contrary, this time spent in quiet lent itself more to conjuring every possible memory tucked away in the recesses of his mind, rather than writing. Every object in the room told a story, each a different event spent with his true love. He had devoted countless hours to this desk, penning numerous works, but today the words would not come.
“It’s been over two years. You need to get on with life,” his psychiatrist said.
She was his life. How could he move on when life had been ripped from him? She meant everything to him. Everything he did was for her, and to make matters worse, he never had the chance to say goodbye.
“You need closure. Write her a letter,” was his next statement. That was crazy. The love he had for her was beyond what words could describe.
Why did you have to leave so soon, he questioned. His wide shoulders jumped rhythmically with increasing intensity until his entire body pulsed with each uncontrollable sob. “Till death do us part” was supposed to be so far away. Streams now cascaded down his face, as his mind raced to years gone by.
Rodger and Lisa fell in a heap on the blue-checkered blanket they had brought for their afternoon picnic at the park. As Rodger propped himself up on one elbow, he leaned over her, stroking his fingers through her long blonde hair, and got lost in the ocean of her beautiful blue eyes.
“I don’t want this to ever end,” Rodger confessed.
“Well, I have to be back at work soon, silly,” Lisa reminded.
“No, that’s not what I meant. I mean us.”
Lisa couldn’t hold back the smile forming on her face. Rodger’s hand disappeared into his pocket and returned with a golden ring, adorned with a brilliantly sparkling diamond.
“Lisa Williams, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
“This is all I have to offer you; I will love you till the end of time,” Rodger vowed.
That was twenty-one years ago today, and he could still see the joy that filled her face when he pulled that ring from his pocket. He could still feel the silky smoothness of her long, wavy hair and the gentle touch of her breath on his face. They had been married a year later, to the day. Now, with no children, all that was left was his memories and a closet full of countless pictures.
Tears once again began to flow, as he gazed out the open window. It was a gorgeous spring afternoon. The flowers were in full bloom, boasting their radiant colors. The emerald sea of grass stood tall, reaching for the nutrients poured out by the sun’s rays. The wind danced and twirled joyfully from treetop to treetop, without a care of where it was going. He had once longed for these days but now wished they would never come. They were a constant reminder of what he had lost. Rage began to creep in and intensify, as the grip on his pen tightened considerably. Thousands of thoughts flooded his mind, each “What if” ending with his beloved still present with him today.
Why did she have to go? Why did God take her away? Didn’t He know it would destroy me?
A hand-written letter from his mother caught his eye. He picked it up and read it again. Isaiah 40:31 had been written out in full, followed by these words:
“I know you miss her, and I can’t take away the hurt. But your hope is this; because of Christ, you will see her again.”
A smile touched Rodger’s lips, and a peace and joy that had escaped him for years now filled his heart. He began to write vigorously for what seemed like hours. When he had finished, he knew what he had to do. He quickly jotted down one last thought then laid his head down and began to pray to his Savior for strength and comfort. His pen never left the last words he wrote.
“I will love you till the end of time.”
Author's Note: Isaiah 40:31 (KJV) - But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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