Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)
TITLE: Nothing Comin Out'a Your Mouth
By Emily Ritter
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I heard Jimmy’s mom’s voice ricocheting off the walls in our alley like the voice of God,
…’cept with more power than my bb gun, louder, SCARIER, and I half expected her voice to this time shake bricks off the walls, cause ‘em to fall on top of us in suffocating piles, or something interesting. But it didn’t. Jimmy never hangs around long enough to find out what would happen. Smart kid. He goes off runnin, rounding the corner, shootin dust back at my eyes from his tennies, his mouth flappin in the breeze loud enough, I guess, for his mom to hear him.
It’s just plain stupid the way I know what was comin out of Jimmy’s mouth had nothing to do with Jesus, and the way his mom knows too, but she says it just the same, every night, like we forgot.
I wait for the night that he’ll prove her wrong. Jimmy and I have even been bringin our bibles out to the alley to look for a perfect come back. We don’t got one of them red letter bibles, so it ain’t as easy as you’d think, but we figure Jesus’s got to have come somewhere near the end of the bible, cause Jimmy and I both remember him saying he finished, and when I finish, it’s always towards the end.
Can you imagine the look on her face if, when she says, “What was you mumblin?”
Jimmy responds, “He said, I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry.” And when unbelieving she asks, “But why was you mumbling?” He says, “I was chewin on it. And seein as I ain’t hungry, can’t I finish the game?”
She’d have to let him come back then! And he’d probably even beat me cause I’d be so out of breath from laughin.
Still, if that never happens, I at least want to follow Jimmy back and ask his mom sometime about her grammar. I’ve heard that phrase so many times, her words stick on my mind like gum, and I can’t help but chew ‘em, lookin for flavor, logic or anything that explains to me why hearin this is more important than finishing our four square.
“If what’s comin out’a your mouth ain’t ‘bout Jesus, t’ain’t nothing comin out ch’your mouth.”
I often think it’s Jimmy’s mom who should be takin Miss Mable’s grammar quizzes every Friday. I’d ask her to, but that don’t show respect. And besides, Jesus don’t have nothing to do with grammar anyhow, so I keep my mouth shut. Jimmy learned me that one the hard way. But I wonder; how’s it fair? Jimmy gets in trouble every night for nothing coming out of his mouth.
John 19:30, John 6:35
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