Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)
TITLE: It's Funny Because It's Supposed to be Serious
By Nathan Perkins
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My grandmother and her friends would pass the time in church by doing things like shooting basket ball hoops into the mouth of a snoring woman whose head was laid back. I’m sure that once the laughing started it became impossible to stop.
On his last day in the pulpit one pastor friend had zipper trouble.
His wife was walking by in the foyer when she noticed. Her first attempt to communicate to her husband that his zipper was down, he though for sure that she was doing the disco dance in the back of the church.
After several failed attempts and causing distractions in the service she gestured the more common gesture for them to have a time of prayer.
The pastor nodded because he knew what that meant. He called up a long winded deacon to pray and the pastor’s wife came running towards the front to tell the pastor that his zipper was down. He looked down with embarrassment. Quickly he attempted to zip the zipper but broke it off its track. After a couple attempts to fix it he asked his wife to keep a look out for the prayer to end and said he would be right back.
He jogged a quarter mile home with his broken zipper to his home. There he got himself another pair of pants and ran back panting to the service where the man was still praying. The man had apparently prayed long enough that this pastor friend of mine caught his breath before it was time for him to resume his preaching post.
At which point he concluded his last church service being that his wits were shot.
The first sermon that another pastor friend of mine had preached had its problems too.
He had not yet purchased any good preaching clothes so he barrowed his dad’s shirt. His dad was significantly bigger then he himself was. It worked out that the shirt looked fine when he tucked all of the access into his pants even though it reached then down to his knees. At one of the more important points in the sermon he wandered towards the back of the stage to allow himself the room to step forward for emphasis.
When he reached the back of the stage he felt the tail of his shirt touching the back of the leg. He thought that it would be best to tuck in back into his pants before he went on with preaching.
With that he went after the huge shirt tucking it thoroughly into his pants, fighting the bunched up fabric as he went.
It seemed that the congregation was distracted and he was concerned that he had missed tucking it in well enough. So, he tucked some more.
The congregants were holding in laughs now. He glanced down quickly and saw nothing. To be sure that it was not his shirt he tucked some more.
This time when he heard and saw their distraction he decided that he needed to get back on task and recapture the audience with this is final point. With emphasis he gathered himself together and charged forward to declare his important message. That’s when he discovered the reason for such commotion.
His forward motion managed to bring tumbling over the American flag which he had apparently tucked deeply into his pants.
Still another friend encouraged the congregation to remember all the points of the sermon that he had just preached. Each point started with the letter “P”. So at his conclusion he invited the congregation to join him in bowing there heads. Then he said very clearly “And let us PEE!”
All of his family and friends were there to encourage and support him. Taking the seriousness of a sermon and a time of prayer they attempted to hold it in. But what can a person do other than burst out with outrageous laughter.
It becomes so very funny because it is supposed to be so serious
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