The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/12/07
Great dialogue in this! Both characters came alive with their tough-slangy dialect and also gestures--such as Marlie sticking her tongue out at the phone. Also enjoyed the mention of the water stain on the ceiling--this made the location come alive.

The story seemed incomplete--as though it needed a sequel with a clear resolution.

Great title--personal names in titles always spark my curiosity!
04/15/07
Loved the dialogue - but hated to be left hanging with gig not solved. But good writing here...that moved things right along. Neat job!