The Official Writing Challenge
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What a sweet story. It is very well written and had me caught up with each line. The title you gave it caught my curiosity. You definitely should keep writing.
Kept me captivated the whole read - characters and circusmstances are intriguing enough to expand to a much broader level. Well done!
Had to come back and make one last comment. This piece has a potential to be ironic as an O'Henry short story. Maybe you considered this, but wouldn't it have been interesting to discover that the woman downstairs was the widow of one of his buddies. Just a thought.
I really like this. I love period pieces anyway. :-) And I agree with Nathan, it would have a ton of impact if the woman was Smiley's (?) widow. Great job!
This was my favorite. It is written like it happened to you. I liked that the ending wasn't predictable because it helps it seem more real. Takes me to another time that I never experienced. Great job!
Wonderful story on emotional healing. And did I detect a little love interest here too? Good writing.
Nice job. You are a skilled story-teller. Music is powerful in so many ways.
03/20/07
I found Nathan’s comment interesting because that’s where I thought this story was headed. I also liked that it didn’t turn out as I had expected. I enjoyed it as it was but would have liked it the other way as well. A great story any way you look at it. Really good job!
03/20/07
Love the nostalgia here, great period peice.
03/20/07
Great job on this one. You're so talented. I can see this expanded into a longer, beyond the word count, piece. Very nice.
03/20/07
Great job leading us through the different emotions of your MC. You leave a lot of possibilities to the reader's imagination or for expansion.
03/21/07
Great job of getting the period down! This felt so authentic - the scene and the emotions. Nice job!
This is powerful writing! I love the character of Jack, very realistic with his own ups and downs and inner struggles. The line with Groans and sobs arose from the pit of his ravaged heart was my favorite-so vivid. I especially liked the story behind the song though of why Tommy's mother played it. Cute. Great writing! ^_^
Wonderfully written. You drew me in from the beginning and kept me till the end. :)
I was really moved by your story. I often wonder what my fater went through in the Korean war, however he never speaks of it. Great story.
03/22/07
You brought tears to my eyes, especially knowing the back ground. You brought his grief to life - well done.
Wonderful! Now I'm hearing the sounds of the forties playing in my mind...the Tommy Dorsey orchestra etc. I love old movies and stories just like this one. So creative and skillfully written!
03/23/07
You captured that era. I really had a sense of that time period. A vivid depiction of your characters kept me on the trail to read more. "Anger and grief jostled for supremacy..." Wow! This line paralyzed me. I have been there before. I believe when a writer evokes emotion from a reader, they have accomplished a wonderful goal. Nicely done.
Wow! I am very impressed with your skill and excellence.
Such a heartwarming story that has reminded me of our Father's heart of healing for His kids.
Very well written. I'm too young to have lived in this era but your descriptions of sights and sounds have me right there.
Wow! I am very impressed with your skill and excellence.
Such a heartwarming story that has reminded me of our Father's heart of healing for His kids.
Very well written. I'm too young to have lived in this era but your descriptions of sights and sounds have me right there.