The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/16/07
This story delighted me! I loved the descriptions all the way through. Could just see and hear those lively, mischievious children--as well as feel the main character's pounding head and frustration! My daughters sometimes have fun mimicking everything I do or say--so I know how annoying that can be.

I also enjoyed the specific descriptions of the children's creative homemade instruments--I could see and hear those, too!

Very moving ending--showing the contrasting side of children with the endearing five-year-old's innocent faith-filled song. Great job!
03/16/07
I could not have imagined that you would make me laugh at the end of this piece, but you did. I loved the ending to this story. The child's voice was absolutely delightful!
03/16/07
What a delightful story. I felt as if I were sitting in the van with you. Of course, I was laughing the entire time and of no help at all! The lesson at the end was perfect "Jesus loves the little children, All the children of the world", how sweet! This is going in my favorites.
I could see this so vividly. Loved the humor of these children. I DO LOVE children and my thoughts were "sock it to her!" Am I bad? :)

If the narator took the point of the five-year-old's solo, I think God was saying, "Maybe you don't love the children, but I do."

Good writing.
03/19/07
Very effective portrayal of your narrator's exasperation! Good writing.
03/19/07
From the mouths of babes... I loved this story. Great job showing the mother's frustration and the kids' enthusiasm.
I have a headache! I could feel my head beating to the rhythm of the cannister drums too! This was very realistic and believable writing. I love childrne, but I think I'm of an age now where all that noise bothers me too!Good job, very "soundy"!
03/20/07
I was right there in the van with ya - maybe plugging my ears, maybe giving you raspberries (LOL) - great description!
From the mouths of babes! Carpooling can be a real test of Christ-likeness! I enjoyed this.
The ending absolutely makes this piece. It's charming.
Thank you for sharing this.
03/21/07
LOL Cute!
I could relate so well to this woman. All the way through she sounded much like me. Then, the ending with the little one singing was perfect! Great job!
03/22/07
Cute story! I enjoyed it, the ending was great! Yes, He does love the chil-dwen! LOL! And a great reminder to love them like He does. Good job! :)
03/22/07
What a cute, excellently written story! You portrayed so perfectly Melissa's headache and the noise and confusion brought on by the exuberant children! Great job! :)
You go girl! Congratualtions on a great entry and win!
Being a Director of Children's Ministry, I cringed when I read "children are not my cup of tea." I hear it too frequently, but I really enjoyed your story. You words painted a vivid, realistic picture and yes, it at times takes a child to jolt us back into the heavenly realms.

I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3
Oh, this was such a fun read, but you also brought home a great point! You wrote in such a way I could almost hear those rubber band harps!