The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/15/07
Your intriguing title drew me in and your creative account kept me there to the end! I noticed a couple places where punctuation would have helped with the flow a bit, though. I suspected your ending about a third of the way through, but wasn't sure until near the end! Good job of keeping my curiosity up! :) I really enjoyed this!
Great job communicating the differences in perception! I felt like I was walking in her shoes.
03/16/07
I loved this! I could hear and smell everything--the pasrami and onions, the aftershave, the burning brakes, the lilacs, the "clank" of something dropped into the garbage can...etc., etc. Great use of descriptive verbs like "swirl," "thud," "bounds," "rustle," and "creak."

"Cubical" is spelled "cubicle" and "smell the hot smell" could be replaced with "smell the hot odor" to avoid redundancy. Also, "she hears" might at times be replaced with "she listens to" or some other variation. Other than that, this piece was a total delight to my ears (and nose!).

I loved the subtle way the main character's blindness was introduced. I suspected she might be blind by the hint of so many "hears" and no "sees"...but was not sure until later. This effectively sparked my curiosity.

Very moving portrayal of the main character's devoted guide dog. I could "see" and love him as well, using just my ears!
What a surprise ending here. I wondered all through this what the tap tap was. Of course that was the point. Well, you surprised this one. Good job.
I, too, was surprised at the end. I was so caught up in the music surrounding this person, and thinking of how much music we miss in our daily walks. It is all around us. Good job of writing. I enjoyed this very much.
What a nice story. I did not realize she was blind until the end when mentioned the white cane.

I enjoyed reading this story.
God Bless
03/21/07
This is just great. The first four paragraphs have a poetic quality and the writing becomes more prosaic as Max is introduced. Very clever the way blindness was kept until the end and the taps were made clear.
03/22/07
Connie, as a judge this week I loved your story. If it wasn't for a few speed bumps here and there in the mechanics this would have been tops. Very creative, well told, and had great reader involvment. Super job. God bless.