The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/16/07
Wow! I really, really liked this piece! Your descriptions were superb, and you story was captivating! I noticed a few "mechanical" errors, but they weren't enough to take away from your story's beauty! I'm left wanting to know why the young man hid his gift and whether he ever did release a CD! I'd like to buy one if he did! :D
Such a beautiful story! Everything about it was right on for me, and the descriptions are fantastic. This line: "What lies had the world told him to keep him from being free to bless so many others with his God-given gift" -- how often I see this in my daily life. It would be so nice to go back to a time when men could sing and dance and play music without fear of retribution from their "brethren." Awesome job.
03/16/07
I loved this! Beautiful, vivid descriptions made the whole scene come alive for me.
I could see the "bustling" students and professors amidst the white stucco and red tiles, hear Christina's flip-flops flopping, and feel her delight in the haunting music. My favorite line: "The song was delicate, like spring flowers, yet passionate and wild, like a rushing river."

Could also just see the embarrassed surfer-performer with his sand-sprinkled shorts and the hood pulled up over his head, concealing him.

Enjoyed the dialogue, too!

A couple typos in this--"tilled" for "tiled" and "strop" for "stop"--but otherwise a total delight. Great job!
03/17/07
Such a beautiful entry. The images just stand out, appealing to one's sense of hearing and sight and awakening one's emotions. Just as you were drawn to the chapel, so this reader was drawn in by your vivid scene.
03/17/07
This was such a beautiful piece. I could feel the young man's conflict as he tried to hide who God had made him. I almost heard the melody - well done!
I've often said that God has talented people whom the world can never outdo. Many people could be in the bright lights of this world with their talents, but choose, instead, to play only to him and for him. Fame is not always the name of the game. Good story.
I loved your descriptive words and the story line. I could hear the music, see the campus, and imagine the struggle in Tim. This is a winner in my book. Nice job.