The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/16/07
Such a sad story! I could see the too-busy mother and her neglected child, who then turned into a drugged teenager. I'm a bit confused, though, with one part of the story. Was Andie both on the couch and crawling to and from the closet at the same time? Was it supposed to be her spirit who was searching for the doll? If so, why did she have hands, unsteady legs, knees, etc.? I'm glad she was able to send her mother a message of love at the end!
Very good story. I was a little confused too, but I think I sorted it out. Might want to make it clearer when rewriting.
Despite the fact that I agree this is a tad confusing, it is very well written. The descriptions are vivid, and you did a good job setting a serious tone. Well done.
02/18/07
How very sad--and very well-written.
Your description was done very well. I could picture the scene. Very sad. Nice job.
02/21/07
Wow, this is a powerful story. You have great descriptions, particularly of Andie's drug-induced state. It is sad, but also speaks of the bond between a mother and daughter and hints at last-minute redemption. Good work.