The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 676 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/07
Fairly well written; practice plot development and theme, you have a wonderful concept, with work it could go far.
02/21/07
I could definitely feel this poor little boy's disappointment--good job of characterization.

Watch out for your/you're. And I was confused at the end; how did the dad help him if he was in the hospital? Made me a little bit uneasy.

I also really liked their tender relationship in the scene where they build the birdhouse. Nicely done.
02/21/07
This was pretty interesting! A little spooky for the ending, but I liked the characters, especially the little boy. One tip that might have helped-italics for the boy's thoughts. Just my opinion though-thanks for sharing! ^_^
02/21/07
A great little story! I enjoyed it. Might liven up the beginning a bit if you did direct quotes of the conversation. Great read!
02/21/07
The ending wasn't what I envisioned but well done just the same. The beginning I thought was especially strong, I could so picture the items laid out and the little boy all ready to go to work. Keep writing!
05/14/07
I like the story. Too bad this doesn't happen and we live in this world, for now. Good writing. God bless and keep writing.