The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1914 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
01/19/07
I liked the reminder of going back to basics - the original reason for starting something and remembering that God is at the base of what we do.

You hadn't mentioned earlier in the piece about the place being familiar but did at the end - thought that perhaps mentioning it earlier would be better so that you could explain why at the end. Or perhaps I missed it although I did go back and read it again.

All the same, enjoyable to read.
01/22/07
and i thought i was the only one God gave writes block when i forget about him. last night at church we ahs a prayer/worship time. i had a pen and spraps of paper. GOd craked out 2 poems
01/22/07
I love this take on the topic! Your description is wonderful, and I love how you pulled it all together at the end. I agree that you might have wanted to mention a bit earlier that the location was familiar - but that is minor! Wonderful stuff!
01/22/07
Very nice. Some great lines. I loved the opening. Keep up the good work. God bless.
01/22/07
You came up with a good story. While writer's block isn't the most original idea for a challenge entry, you managed to make it about much more than sitting with a blank mind in front of the keyboard.
When you only have 750 words to play with it makes more sense to take one setting and one incident to fill that space. You put two into this one - your kitchen and the outdoors. I think if you had shortened the block and sandwiches considerably, you could have done the storyline more justice. One more thing - you mention the plate color, the napkin etc., but try not to list these things, rather include them, i.e. she followed the blue outline of the milkmaid's face on the sideplate with her finger as she tried to word her anxiety. That way we can be inside your MC's body feeling and seeing with her.
I liked the descriptions you used in the second half, and you gave the whole thing a good mix of description, dialogue and narrative. Good job!
01/23/07
Fun read and I loved the descriptions. Alot of personality came through this piece.
01/24/07
I like the way you portrayed the relationship between the husband and wife..."make me a sandwich..." Nice, realistic touch.
I really, really loved this. All the way through, it gave me a sense of the husband-wife relationship. The little touches and descriptions were wonderful. I liked the ending when she remembered the familarity of the setting. You surprised your charater,as well as your readers! I would place this one if I were a judge. ( too bad I'm not!)
As R. Regan was fond of saying."There's nothing wrong with the inside of man that the outside of a horse can't fix"; and now I see a hand-up from a loving spouse can come in handy, too.
I know I find much peace and joy and inspiration from riding my horse, Krissy. Thanks for sharing.
01/24/07
I really enjoyed the husband-wife interaction and her confusion. I could feel it...
Love the interaction between the couple. This was thoughtfully written and an enjoyable read.
01/25/07
I found you, Scarletfury! I see I shall have to spend more time reading in Intermediate.

You do have a great writing-talent gift from God, obvious in your knack for pulling the reader into your story. I think you had just the right amount of description to flavor the dialog and give us a good "picture" setting.

One thing surprised me. The husband actually pulled the writer away from her work! (My poor husband just gets "Scram!"-med away so I can hang onto my train of thought :)

Thank you for your comments on my writing, too. I appreciate you, Friend!
I want a husband like that! Hehe. Great story!
01/29/07
Welcome to the FW 500! I'm going to feature this on the Front Page Showcase for the week of February 26. Look for it on the FW home page.
02/27/07
Oh, this is great. I agree with Amy. I want a husband like this! Someday... Someday. lol