The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
01/11/07
A delightful story! I was drawn in by the title and loved the descriptions and dialogue--everything! My favorite part is the little girl trying to worm her way out of the situation with her "man teacher in the girls' bathroom" story. Funny and creative!
01/11/07
Very enjoyable and I could clearly imagine the situation. Nicely done!
01/12/07
Just love the narrator's voice in this piece. It was so realistic, and the story was extremely engaging.
01/14/07
"I wasn't about to tell her why I couldn't possibly go outside at that very moment. I valued my life too much. First Carrie would kill me for disobeying. She'll tell my mom, and then my mom would kill whatever part of me thought of living after Carrie was finished with me. Self-preservation was flowing free in my veins. I turned and went outside."

taht paragraph scares me.
i almost feel like you know me. how irronic is it that you used my name fora charactre just like me.

I love this one. You have a very good way of turning a situation into humor. Keep writing.
Very cute and believable story. Watch your tenses. They seemed to switch in a few places.
I'm grinning. Believable dialogue. Thanks for sharing.
01/16/07
Loved your title and the wonderful, humorous story that followed! Good job! :)
01/16/07
Super title! And you struck a great tone here, very memoir-like and fun to read.
01/17/07
A delightful story, have someone proof read it and you have a winner in my book.
01/17/07
Wonderful story, great humor used to tell this story. Great job!
01/17/07
Some spacing issues, but otherwise perfect! Awesome job! Keep up the great work!