“Get out of the way!” I shouted, lifting a charred apple pie from the smoke billowing oven, eyes full of tears, disappointed once again at my primitive skills in the kitchen.
“MARTHA STUART STRIKES AGAIN!” my husband teased with his usual insensitive sarcasm.
“Oh shut up!”
“You’re unbelievable,” he roared. “After ten years of marriage, you’d think you’d get the hang of it already.”
“I said SHUT UP, and leave me alone or I’ll never get dinner ready on time!”
“That’s right, you’ll never get dinner ready PERIOD! All I asked you to do was to make a simple meal for my boss. This was important to me Donna, it’s the difference between me getting the promotion and me being fired. HONESTLY! I’ll just call him and tell him we’ll meet him at a restaurant instead. I’m not taking my chances with YOUR cooking!”
“Whatever!” Darren frowned turning his back to me as he punched the numbers into the phone.
The smoke from the kitchen wafted into the living room and set the smoke detector into a deafening high-pitched frenzy.
Darren’s wild eyes glared, “DO SOMETHING!”
Suddenly, in the midst of me flagging the smoke detector down with a towel, Darren strangling the phone, and Casey screaming in her crib, the doorbell rang.
“OH NO!” Darren cried, “IT’S MY BOSS!”
I just stood there callous and defiant. I didn’t care. I wanted my husband to suffer. I wanted him to take the heat like I always did. Look at him jumping around like a jackrabbit squirming now when he NEEDS me.
He dropped the phone, darted around and flipped open the smoke detector yanking the batteries out. No more orchestra, just the sounds of his distraught daughter screaming in her room, that, and us hacking from the lingering smoke.
Darren’s eyes were even wilder now as he spit out a mouthful of profanities at me.
I didn’t move, I just crossed my arms in front of my chest and wondered where that Christ-filled man of mine had taken off to.
Casey’s screams were getting louder and I knew I couldn’t play this game much longer. My motherly instincts were overtaking my anger and I could feel my feet changing direction. Blasted man, he was going to win this one!
The doorbell continued to ring.
“I should have married a REAL woman!” Darren half shouted half whispered as he went for the door. “LIKE PROVERBS 31!”
Oh brother, not that line again.
I went to comfort Casey and returned to find Darren’s boss sitting in our smoke-filled living room. He stood as I neared and reached out to shake my hand, smiling at our whimpering daughter with big red eyes that matched her mother’s.
Darren didn’t even look at me.
“So, I just wanted to let you know the good news,” the man grinned at my husband. “The board voted and it was unanimous, you got the promotion! Yes, we’re very pleased with your work and think you’re just the most tenderhearted guy we’ve ever met.”
“How does it feel to be SENIOR pastor?”
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