Home Tour About What's New Help Forums Join Login My Account Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
I
Need A
Savior
301
  

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Unsung Hero (12/07/06)

TITLE: Little Miss Liberty Soldier
By Kaylee Blake
12/10/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“My big bubby is a soldier-man. Did you know that, miss?”

I had been so engrossed in my work, that the little voice startled me. I spun around quickly. It was only a girl, about six years old, dressed in a pretty denim jumper. Blond ringlets spilled out from under an enormous camouflage hat. She craned her neck to look up at me so that her eyes could peek out from beneath the large bill.

I looked around for any adult that she might possibly belong too, but we were alone in the shoe department. Sighing, I turned away from her. Perhaps if I ignored her, she would go back to her parents and leave me to my work. A little pest yammering away at me was not going to improve my foul mood. “Christmas stress,” had found a home in my heart and it had slammed the door when the “Christmas spirit” tried to come and call.

But instead going away, she picked up a tan hiking boot from the display I was working on. “My bubby has some boots like this. Only his’re a lot bigger. My bubby has big feet.”

“That’s…nice,” I plucked the boot out of the little girl’s hands and placed it back on the display. “Good for him.” I walked away, hoping that she wouldn’t follow me.

She did. “My bubby gave me this hat. He got a new one a’fore he went to the desert over…over…” her little nose wrinkled as she thought. “Over…somewhere, I fergits where, but when he left he gave me this old hat. He told me that ever’ time I wear this hat it can make me think about him and pray that he stays safe.”

I quickened my pace.

“You sure does walk fast, miss.” But it didn’t faze her. She just skipped along behind me. “You know, sometimes my bubby misses mommy’s cooking so me and my mommy send him cookies to cheer him up. Peanut butter cookies is his favorite. Mine too.”

Why did this little girl insist on following me around? Why couldn’t she talk to someone who cared? I was beginning to lose my patience. “Where are your parents, little girl?” I snapped.

My harsh tone did little to deter her. “Well, my daddy’s at work. But my mommy’s right over there.” She pointed her finger to a tall woman with salt-and-pepper hair, watching us cautiously from the clearance section of the children’s department. The girl yanked on my sleeve, jerking me towards her. “She told me to stay here by the shoes and not to look at her,” she spoke in a loud whisper. “So that makes me think she’s gettin’ me a Christmas present!”

Suddenly, she hung her head. “Christmas,” she whispered so softly that I had to strain to hear her. I heard a little sniffle and then she lifted her head to look back up at me, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “It’s eight more days until Christmas, miss, but my big bubby can’t come home. He’s gots to stay over in the desert and help protect you an’ me an’ ever’body else from the bad people.” She smiled bravely. “I gots to share my bubby. It’d be selfish to cry and wish him home, but I still miss him.” Her smile wavered slightly as she reached up to take off her hat. She played with it for a few moments before she spoke again. “But it’s a sac-er-fice, I’s gotta give ‘cuz I’m a little soldier, too.”

“Liberty.” I had not noticed the little girl’s mother approach, but I could see little through my tears. “It’s time to go home, honey.” The woman looked at me, smiling shyly.

Little Liberty placed her brother’s hat back on her head. “Have a very Merry Christmas, miss.” Hand in hand, they walked away.

I stood where I was for a moment. “I think I will, Little Miss Liberty Soldier,” I whispered after her. “I think I will.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 839 times
Member Comments
Member Date
julie wood12/14/06
I loved this story--the opening line, the dialogue, and the vivid descriptions made both the setting and characters come alive for me.

I could just hear the little girl talking--she sounded like a real little kid, especially with her use of "gots." I could see her, too! My favorite descriptive line: "Blond ringlets spilled out from under an enormous camouflage hat."

Powerful, moving message!
Donna Emery12/17/06
What a sweet story. I could see this little miss clearly. What an enjoyable experience it must have been to meet her. Well done.
Phyllis Inniss 12/18/06
A wonderful touching story. A message of Christ and Christmas comes to us in different ways. She seemed a little pest, but now you may indeed have a merry Christmas. Good writing and dialogue.
Sara Harricharan 12/18/06
That was a sweet story. I loved the character of the little girl and her persistence. The ending was my favorite, especially when you tied it in with the title. Great writing, a heartfelt look at something a lot of us can relate to. Thanks for sharing!
Betty Castleberry12/18/06
I liked the clerk's change of heart in this piece. The little girl was a believable character, too.
I know our troops are sacrificing a lot, but it made me stop and think what a truly huge sacrifice they make every day. Thank you for sharing this.
Catrina Bradley 12/19/06
Very good! My favorite line: “Christmas stress,” had found a home in my heart and it had slammed the door when the “Christmas spirit” tried to come and call. I've SO been there.

I didn't see a think to critique - sorry - only good comments from me. :) Loved it from beginning to end. Well done, Kaylee!!
Jesus Puppy 12/19/06
Great job on the young girl's rambling comments. Could actually see the little critter chassing the store clerk. Well done.
Amy Michelle Wiley 12/20/06
What a charming story! It may have been a little more realistic to have the clerk's attitude change more gradually, but this was a great story!
Donna Haug12/21/06
I love the title and I could just picture her skipping after the clerk commenting on how fast she walked. too cute. I agree with the sudden change of heart, but loved the reminder of those serving overseas. Good work!
ADAM CORMIER12/24/06
I think this story clearly illustrates how God can use the least and most unlikely to present a powerful message. I'm sure your country's soldiers would be honored by this story. Thank you.


   
© MeasurelessMedia. All rights reservedTerms of Service