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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Unsung Hero (12/07/06)

TITLE: Unseen Love
By Benjamin Graber
12/08/06


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The ballads praise the deeds of heroes
Who conquered foes so long ago,
But none are raised to honor you,
For no one knows the love you’ve shown—

We know of knights of rescued maidens,
The ones who dared the dragons’ fire,
But those who fight their own desires
Are seldom heard of in a tale—

She’ll never see you at the altar
Where you lay down your precious dreams,
As you now flee from all you wanted
She’s never known the tears you’ve cried—

The sacrifice will burn unseen,
The fragrance drift away unnoticed,
You’ve paid the price, it seems in vain,
A final gift that brings no thanks—

But as you die for her you love
Your deed is praised by bands of angels,
And when you cry where no one sees
Each tear is saved by He who loves you;

The ballads praise the deeds of heroes
Who conquered foes so long ago,
But songs are raised for you much greater,
For Jesus knows the love you’ve shown!


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This article has been read 583 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joy Mounce12/14/06
I really enjoyed this. Would like to know the "whole" story here. Good work!
Kaylee Blake 12/14/06
Wow. I want more! Tell me more! I have no problem with a story with a suspensful ending, but this needs more! What you already have is great, just give us the whole story. Great job, keep up the good work!
Phyllis Inniss 12/16/06
I am touched by this hero's sacrifice. You've put it over so well poetically. A little mystery gives the poem its suspense and perhaps knowing more would lose it its aura.
Donna Emery12/16/06
A very nice poem that raises many questions. You kept my interest and made me wonder about this hero with his unseen love.
Sonya Bennett04/18/07

Very good work endeed!
David (The Goliath Assassin)05/09/07
FINALLY someone who understands me! (dramatic pose) "You can never lose in battle, Giantslayer!" That's what the young lads of the kingdom say to me. But they have not yet known the inner defeat that comes with lost love, which no amount of battle training can help you escape. A man must always be strong on the inside, for love's little daggers cannot be thwarted by scale mail.
Jacquelyn Horne06/26/07
I started to say this is the unsung hero...then I noticed the subject of the challenge. Right on topic!
Sharlyn Guthrie 06/27/07
I love poetry that makes me scratch my head a little, and you accomplished that with this piece. I like the comparisons made to warriors and dragon-slayers. Good work!
Joanne Sher 06/27/07
Just beautiful and heartfelt and lovely, Ben. So glad you've found us here at FW. I've been blessed.
Loren T. Lowery 06/27/07
Your words have touched a common thread in us all and speaks to a greater truth that makes even the most noble among us more than humbled. Great job of bringing this message couched in poetic form.


   
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