The Official Writing Challenge
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Honestly, I read through this a few times, and I'm still not sure how to receive it--the content is certainly controversial. From a writing point of view, it's got a few run-on sentences and there's more "telling" than "showing." But--you've made me think, and even made me squirm a little, so as a writer you've succeeded. Keep at your craft!
This is a tough one. I want to comment on the writing, but it is hard to see beyond the motivation for the writing, so I feel I need to address that. First, it seems as if the MC was on staff of the church, and because of that was held to a higher standard. Even if that is not the case, it is unwise for anyone to put themselves in a situation with such huge potential for temptation. My hunch is that the pastor would not have supported a male and female living together who were unmarried either, particularly if they had been sexually active before. So I don't see the pastor's stance as unreasonable in this case. Yes, we are forgiven, but we are also told to avoid even the appearance of evil. Two former lesbians who had been sexually intimate before and then continued living together after becoming Christians is definitely going to raise a few eyebrows, in the same way that an unmarried heterosexual couple living together would raise eyebrows.
It sounds to me like there is a lot of hurt behind this piece. I'm sorry to read that. I wish you well in your journey in Him.
The story moved at a nice pace but the content was a bit confusing. The pastor was clearly in the right to give them a time limit in which to sever cohabitating ties IMHO. However, leaving a book on her desk at work was very un-Christian. If someone has been delivered from a "sin" or negative behavior then they try their hardest to separate themselves from that which caused them to sin spiritually and physically. The main character continuing to live alongside the sin leads me to believe in a matter of time she would've fallen back into that lifestyle.