The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
11/30/06
Your title drew me in! Something about "footsteps in the snow" hints at a mystery to unravel.

You have set the stage for your reader to want to read more. I see so many opportunities, here, for you to pursue, individuals that will stand out from the crowd of sad, dying faces. I hope you write more!
11/30/06
I loved the opening descriptions in this story and the title drew me in as well. I could see the snow and the faces of the homeless people, and I especially liked the specific description of David's single footprints--symbolizing others' unwillingness to participate in this ministry.

Would love to see some dialogue take place in this story--that would bring the characters more to life.
I got to volunteer one summer at a homeless shelter, and found many of the people who came there delightfully colorful and endearing characters!
12/02/06
A very nice story. A good way to personalize one person's obedience to the Lord's calling. Nice job.
12/02/06
I also would love to hear more about the actual volunteering experience, but I enjoyed what you did share. Nice job.
12/07/06
This was pretty good, with an interesting storyline. I liked the MC, but noticed that you referred to him more in the past tense than the present. Use more active verbs to keep the pace of the story. Otherwise, good job!
Thanks for commenting on Eon-Force Volunteers :)