The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
11/30/06
Good message. I wonder if it would have been a little easier to read if you broke it up with some white space between paragraphs, and with a new paragraph for different speakers. I liked the enacted metaphor of the cap.
11/30/06
I really enjoyed the specific description of this man with the cap on his head--he sounded interesting!

Would have found the story easier to read if there were spaces between the paragraphs. Also would like to see a lot more direct dialogue between the man and his visitors. That would bring him and the others even more to life!
12/01/06
I enjoyed especially the first part of this. I would love for you to have expanded on that more, and "taught the lesson" more through the story than outright, but that is just my opinion. Your description of the man in the cap was wonderful. Keep writing!
12/02/06
What a wonderful ministry! It's wonderful to go where God leads you. This is a heartwarming story. Nice work.
12/04/06
Very good!
You selected a verse which makes this a first-rate devotional.
Everyone else has already mentioned the white space, so no need to do so again. But especially so, with the verse to make it stand out better.
Nice story, well written. No need to mentione the white spaces, I used to get those comments a lot, finally listened.

Good job.