The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/01/06
Very nice!!! Good for this mother teaching her children about greed, and very good of her realizing her own sin as well. Well written - saw one comma out of place but very minor. Love then ending, too.
12/02/06
I agree. This is a good lesson for you and the kids and a wonderful thing to do. God bless you and good job on the story.
12/04/06
Very refreshing to see a parent being a parent. ;-)
Add a verse and this becomes a wonderful devotional.
As far as story-telling, sprinkle in a bit more description to paint the setting--to provide your readers with a vivid picture.
Good job!