Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Parent (11/16/06)
TITLE: Interview With The Carpenter
By Everest Alexander
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I dreamt that I was interviewing Joseph, Jesusí foster father in heaven. It went like this:
His face was bronzed and character lined, his brown eyes reflected a deep wisdom that drew you in and set you at ease.
The room was stark white and empty except for two chairs. We sat facing each other comfortably as the interview began.
Me: "So, Joseph, tell me what prompted you to grant this interview?"
Joseph: "I was asked to."
Me: "Thatís it! Thatís the only reason? Because you were asked?"
Joseph: "Itís like this, in all that my family and I have been through no one seemed interested in my side of the story. Even when Luke came to the house he was more curious about what Mary had to say, so I allowed her to speak. Apart from asking me to describe the details of my dreams he didnít seem to need much input from me."
Me: "So, what IS your side of the story?"
Joseph: "That depends. What exactly do you want to know?"
Me: "Well, for instance, what would you share with our readers about being a good parent?"
Joseph: "There are several significant lessons I learnt about being a parent, for instance; itís very difficult to teach your children to become something that youíre not. What I mean is, you can preach from dusk till dawn about truth and righteousness but if your children donít SEE you practice these things at home then your preaching is void."
Me: "Can you elaborate on this?
Sure! Do you know why your children disobey you? Because there are things about you that they reject, they see stuff in you that they donít like and donít agree with. Basically, they donít want to become like you so they reject your authority to tell them what to do and fear that if they follow you and your instructions theyíll turn out just like you."
Me: "Wow! Iíve never heard anyone put it quite like that before. So, how do we constructively handle the problem?"
Joseph: "Excellent question, hereís the recipe for raising obedient kids.
We must become attractive to them as parents and model the virtues that we want them to have. Only then, will they want to be where we are - Will they want to have what we have - And will they want to be like us. So, they will WANT to follow our lead and our instructions.
You see, if a parent cannot inspire a child to obey, then he must manipulate that child into obedience! And this is the technique of the average parent. Do as I say OR ELSE! If they dare to ask why, your practiced response is, ďBecause Iím your mother and I said so!Ē
This is not inspiration - This is manipulation!
So, from the time this child is old enough or FEELS old enough they will begin to challenge your authority. First covertly, then openly, next itís on to total rebellion. Is this making sense to you, so far?"
Me: "Oh yes! Your words weigh heavy with truth, Joseph. As a matter of fact I remember living through such experiences with my parents. Please do continue."
Joseph: "Hereís the key: First, you need to spend time with your children. Loving is giving and the most valuable resource you have is your time. When you invest time with your kids youíre confirming your unconditional love for them and they will come to know and trust this love.
Next, you build on this trust by fostering open dialog with them about discipline and punishment, eg. ďYou may NOT have this right now because this is not the time and place for you to have it.Ē
ďBut why canít I have it, Daddy?Ē
ďBecause I love you and this will only hurt you if I allow you to have it and Daddy loves you too much to allow you to hurt yourself. OK, so you canít have it right away.Ē
As they grow older they will come to understand that there is always a reason for denial of something they desired and the reason is always love."
ďThe reason is always love,Ē I woke up with those words echoing in my head as I began to write.
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