The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/23/06
You have captured the circle of life and described it perfectly: the irony of it all. It's challenging, it's inspiring, and even with the word limit, it was written to perfection. What a great devotion it would be for "the sandwich generation," of which I am now a member! Thank you for a touching story!
11/24/06
Very nice, and very true. I enjoyed your description of the circle of parenting. Good work.
11/25/06
I am not sure where this story was going much of the time. It began like an unrhyming poem, then went into fast reflection on life.
I understand what you were trying to do: paint a picture of the Circle of Life and how we progress then regress.
My suggestion is to think about being more emotionally descriptive. Take your blackand white facts and put a little color in there to warm up the scenary. It is a great idea, just needs a little work of delivering.