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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Lifeguard (11/09/06)

TITLE: Passing the Test
By Marilee Alvey
11/14/06


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Tuesday
Dear Diary,
I’m SO excited! I passed my lifesaver’s test (Yay!) and I get to be a lifeguard! I’m SO into helping others. Tomorrow’s my first day. Think of the tan I’m going to get, not to mention saving for my own car. Bret better leave me alone or I’m gonna drown him.

Wednesday
Dear Diary,

I am SO sore. I don’t care what they say: SPF 15 DOES NOT WORK. I wonder what the 15 stands for: fifteen minutes before you burn your booty off? This job IS NOT EASY! The little kids! First you see their head, then you don’t. Then you’re yelling, “No dunking!” and “No running!” I screamed so much today I sounded like mom. Bret was TOTALLY in my face all day. “Help! I can’t breathe!” Of course, I have to look like I’m taking everything seriously, so I tried to look like I cared, then blew my whistle and made him sit out of the pool for fifteen minutes, hoping he’d burn. Brothers are just GROSS! I’m going to put on some aloe and lie under the fan. I’m so tired.

Thursday
Dear Diary
My alarm didn’t wake me up. I guess the fan drowned it out. “Drowned?” Hey, I should have saved it! LOL! Mom had to wake me. I had a fight with her. She just doesn’t get it. I don’t see why Bret can’t go to another pool in town and stay out of mine. I just can’t be loving, caring and concerned with him around. I saw a cute guy but couldn’t really talk to him. I’m too busy counting heads to concentrate on anything else. I wonder when I’ll get my first check?

Friday
Dear Diary
Either that tadpole goes or I do. It’s like being in Paradise but having to babysit. I’m up to SPF30 sunblock and apply it every half hour. I saw that cute guy again. He came up to me while I was on my break. I found out that his name is Jarrod. It was really starting to get cool until Bret showed up. “Hey, Roach,” he said. “Better get back to your job making sure the munchkins don’t put the ‘P’ in Pool.” The very least he could do was call me by my real nickname, “Rooch,” like everyone else. The little dweeb held a dweebfest today under my chair with the little chromosomal abnormalities he calls friends. I did get to help a little girl who slipped into the water and bumped her head today. She was so adorable. Her mom said she was really glad that I was at my post today. It made me feel that it’s all worth it.

Saturday
Dear Diary
I’m off today. Got my first check. There’s something wrong, though. A bunch of my money was taken out. It’s gotta be a mistake. I’ll check on Monday. Tiff and I went to see a movie. It was lame.


Sunday
Dear Diary
I went to the high school service and sat next to Allison, the fake. She stands there, lifting her hands when I know for a fact that, last night, the only thing she probably lifted was a beer. What a hypocrite. God, I don’t know how some people can claim to be one way and then be another. It really ticks me off.

Thursday
Dear Diary
The accident wasn’t Bret’s fault. He collided with a guy who dove from the side into the area meant only for diving. At first, I just stood there, but then I started blowing my whistle and yelling, “Clear the pool!” Andrea pulled the big kid out and I got Bret. I was so scared but somehow did right. Bret was still breathing but he was coughing up water like crazy and was covered with blood. The rescue squad took him to St. Joseph’s. Mom got called. I started crying and couldn’t stop shaking. I got a ride to the hospital. Mom and I hugged really long, then sat, cried, and later, prayed. Bret stayed overnight so they could check for a concussion. I really do love him. Bret and I have a history together: discarded army men, disfigured Barbie dolls… Who else can I totally diss and know that he’ll still be there for breakfast the next day? Jarrod? Jarrod who?


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This article has been read 686 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Trina Courtenay11/18/06
I loved the flow of events and your voice made it seem like my 15 y/o daughter wrote it. So totally cool! Oh wait, Valley girl was from my time, anyway...I'd have to say this is another great entry. I also want to say the diary entries were a great way of telling a teenagers story and your title - perfect! May the Lord continue blessing your gift of writing.
Joanne Sher 11/18/06
A wonderful job of capturing the voice of this person - just right! I loved the diary format - and the revelation at the end. This sounded so authentic. Great job.
Phyllis Inniss 11/20/06
This entry is truly great with much humour, serious though the events are. The diary format gave it authenticity and the last paragraph just clinched it. Impressive writing skill.
Laurie Glass11/20/06
I love the diary format. This was believeable as well as delightful. Great message at the end. Great job. :)
Jan Ackerson 11/20/06
One of my favorites this week. Absolutely authentic voice, just masterfully done.
Allison Egley 11/21/06
I'm not so sure I like my name being associated with "the fake. " ;) Great entry though. I loved the diary format, and could relate to the brother/sister interaction. Great job.
Debbie Sickler11/21/06
This had such an authentic teenage feel to it. Great job in portraying your character, you made her come alive. :)
Edy T Johnson 11/21/06
Oh, the groanings of responsibility! This sounded as if I'd got ahold of my niece's diary (summer lifeguard at an inner-city pool between HS-college). You did a perfect job of depicting the characters, the distractions, the concerns, building up to the brother's injury. Aren't diaries fun? Such a good job, here!
Sandra Petersen 11/22/06
This is delightful, and written as only a teenaged older sister could write it! I could almost hear my teenaged daughter, who ISN'T a lifeguard, just a sister, saying or writing these things.

My favorite line was "The little dweeb held a dweebfest today under my chair with the little chromosomal abnormalities he calls friends." That is SO like an older sister! LOL

Read it to my teenager. It 'passed the test.'
Trina Courtenay11/23/06
Way to PLACE! Congrats!
Suzanne R11/23/06
CONGRATULATIONS on placing! This was delightful. There were a lot of great lines. I loved the one about the hypocrite in church - LOL.
Sharlyn Guthrie11/23/06
Marilee, this is so much fun...a delight to read! Thanks, and congratulations on yet another win!