The Official Writing Challenge
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11/17/06
Beautiful imagry. A nice escape for me while living in the cold here in Minnesota. A couple of words that could be changed out, but pretty minor and didn't distract me as a reader. The ending was WOW! Totally unexpected and delightful. A high score from me for creativity. Well done.
Woah, cool twist! I totally didn't see that coming. There were a few minor spots of unnecessary information (like the size of the rope), but otherwise this was great!
11/18/06
Wooohooo us dogs have our days.. I loved the twist in this one. Good job.
This was great. I loved the way you kept the secret of Faith being a dog right until the end.

We already talked about the grammar mistakes earlier, so my only comment to add, would be about saying Faith made a mental note to lecture the suffer later. It was a nice sentence as you read, but once you find out she's a dog, it no longer makes sense. A dog wouldn't be able to lecture anyone.

Other than that, I think you did a great job with good descriptive writing in the opening to paint the picture well and the twist at the end was perfect.

I'd love to see what you could pull off if you took an hour. :)
11/20/06
Are there really lifeguard dogs? What a wonderful program! And if you just made it up--someone should look into it!

I loved it all up to the "woof woof." It's a personal preference, but I try to avoid words that innacurately represent sounds. Better to say "Faith yipped with excitement..." or some such.

Great build-up of suspense, and fun surprise ending.
11/20/06
I love surprises and you surprised me at the end with this one. Good job. :)
11/20/06
Oh my! LOL What a great twist. I love that! No hint what so ever. Terrific story.
I *love* a good dog story. This was a fun read, and I'm going to read it again!
11/21/06
You stinker! Here I was thinking this was a teenage girl lifeguard, and so when I discovered she was a DOG, naturally I had to go back and read your story a second time. But, I think I caught you: Faith made a mental note to lecture the surfer? How would that work? I suppose barking would do it, but only if nipping the act in the bud.

Anyway, very good writing, pulling the reader into the heart of your story.
I agree with the other reviewers. I enjoyed the article and liked the surprise ending.
11/21/06
LOVED the ending - and, like everyone else, I had NO idea it was coming! Great description throughout.
11/21/06
Hehe I too loved the surprised ending. I think the surfer bit was unneeded, but that's about it. I loved how you made Faith so realistic.
11/22/06
In the first paragraph you took me away with your descriptions. I felt like I was there.

Okay, I should have read all the way to the end because now I can compliment you on the neat twist you gave the ending. I actually thought Faith was a young woman, even at the first bark. (Takes me a little to catch on, you know.) What a surprise to find that Faith was a lifeguard dog.

There were a few typos here and there but this was a fine story well-told.
Okay I must admit you got me! I mean really got me. Maybe it's the blonde hair dye soaking into my brain but I didn't get the twist until I read the other comments. lol Honestly, I just thought Ethan was light headed or something. How funny is that? Oh my1 Here I am showing you all my true colors! hehe Anyway, this is another great entry, holding my interest all the way and making me laugh at meself. Way to Write!
11/22/06
HOOKED IN! Way to go! Creative and innovative. You have lovely descriptions, a skill I lack, thus value all the more. However, I would be careful to hook the reader quickly in the first couple of sentences to keep them reading. Don't omit any of the lovely description: it creates a wonderful, relaxed mood to contrast with the hectic events that follow. First, however, you must catch the reader's interest. Sadly, we Americans have learned to expect instant gratification, so if a reader isn't hooked in the first two sentences, he or she may toss an incredible read. Congratulations on a really skillful story. You'll be moving up soon, so I'll just wave goodbye to you now!
Wowee! I am so impressed, Chrissy. Very well done. Loved the excellent descriptive paragraph at the beginning, and other than the "lecture" that was mentioned before, I reread the story with Faith as a dog and it worked...real well. This is a great heartwarming story to close my day off with.
Blessings on your pen, girlfriend.
11/24/06
You did very well for a story that only took 20 mins to write! Great description, gripping story and you had me fooled until the end as well.