The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/02/06
I loved this story--beautiful description of setting and characters, and I could identify with the narrator's loneliness. I also really enjoyed the introduction of the one special woman who made a difference in an unexpected way. Great message!
11/04/06
enjoyed the surprise ending
11/04/06
A very nice, original, refreshing story with a great message. Sometimes others teach us so much without even realizing it. There are a few grammatical mistakes, especially toward the end. I'm guessing you might have been tired by the time you finished!
11/06/06
I loved the ending. I'm still not exactly sure who the teacher or teachers was/were, but I think that's actually part of the charm of the story for me. Great writing.
11/06/06
I love the serenity of this aptly titled little story.

Take a look at the number of sentences you have that begin with -ing verbs. It's a good way to vary your sentence structure, but you have quite a few of them, almost having the opposite effect.

Other than that teensy quibble, your writing is quite lovely, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece.
11/07/06
Very lovely - I enjoyed this a lot!
11/07/06
An enchanting moment. You wrote this and gave a great description of a serene and wonderful day. Thanks for sharing it
11/09/06
Hey! This is a lovely idea you have here, though there are a couple of spelling/grammar errors. Firstly, "heroin" should be "heroine" (one e makes all the difference in meaning!), and "shined" should be "shone".

Other than that, lovely :D