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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Teacher (10/26/06)

TITLE: Quiet Teacher
By Cheryl Eklund
10/31/06


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The day was warm and sunny. One of those perfect fall days that just called you to come and enjoy it. Paige sat taking in the quiet that fell over her house whenever her children went off to school and her husband to work. Sipping her cinnamon coffee and trying to figure out what she was going to do today to fill it, she kept letting her eyes roam to the sunlit day. A soft and warm body snuggled up to her feet. Oreo, her puppy and companion when everyone else was gone, was also looking at the bright day in front of them.

Too lazy to take a shower Paige roamed up to her room to change. Today was going to be her day to really get things done. Feeling lonely and bored she decided not to waste the beautiful day that was just outside her door.

Grabbing Oreo and her book she wandered out of the house and headed to the nearby park. Paige was humming and feeling her loneliness slide off of her with every step. Finding a free park bench she sat and let Oreo stretch out in front of her. Looking over the park she saw young children playing on the equipment and mothers chatting close by. Her lonely feeling trying to find its way back into her, she thought about those days when her children where young. She had been in many groups through the church finding time with friends and other young mothers. She yearned for a group that would fit her now.

Petting Oreo with her feet she opened her book and tried to focus on what was going to happen to the heroin next. A door slamming caught her attention across the street from where she was sitting. She watched as a woman around her age pulled sheets off flowers. The flowers were still in full bloom and hadn’t grown crisp with the last frost. Paige watched as the woman knelt down and made a beautiful bouquet. Trying not to stare Paige forced herself to look down into her book. More noise came from across the street and when Paige looked up she saw the woman at the neighbor’s house. Realizing what she had heard was knocking. An older woman was at the door giving the flower lady a hug. Warmth spread through Paige as she watched the exchange.

The book caught her attention again and Paige fell into its story. Hearing a burst of exciting screams Paige glanced toward the children on the playground. They were smiling and jumping at their moms as the woman from across the street was standing amongst them. She reached into her bag and handed out popcorn balls to each of the children and offering them up to the moms too. A pang of feeling left out crept back into Paige as she sat and watched. The woman walked up, knelt down and petted Oreo she then asked if Paige would like a treat. Paige thanked the woman for the treat she was offering. She moved to the grass and sat and watched the children enjoy her treat and pulled out a book. The Bible shined in gold under the sun.

Paige sat back and thought when was the last time she had picked up her Bible to read it. An excitement filled Paige as she sat at the park and continues as she walked home. She had been feeling alone and bored with her life. It was because she was missing being in the Word. She walked and chatted with God and thanked him for the quiet teacher she watched this morning.


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This article has been read 406 times
Member Comments
Member Date
julie wood11/02/06
I loved this story--beautiful description of setting and characters, and I could identify with the narrator's loneliness. I also really enjoyed the introduction of the one special woman who made a difference in an unexpected way. Great message!
L.M. Lee11/04/06
enjoyed the surprise ending
Marilee Alvey11/04/06
A very nice, original, refreshing story with a great message. Sometimes others teach us so much without even realizing it. There are a few grammatical mistakes, especially toward the end. I'm guessing you might have been tired by the time you finished!
Allison Egley 11/06/06
I loved the ending. I'm still not exactly sure who the teacher or teachers was/were, but I think that's actually part of the charm of the story for me. Great writing.
Jan Ackerson 11/06/06
I love the serenity of this aptly titled little story.

Take a look at the number of sentences you have that begin with -ing verbs. It's a good way to vary your sentence structure, but you have quite a few of them, almost having the opposite effect.

Other than that teensy quibble, your writing is quite lovely, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece.
Joanne Sher 11/07/06
Very lovely - I enjoyed this a lot!
Donna Emery11/07/06
An enchanting moment. You wrote this and gave a great description of a serene and wonderful day. Thanks for sharing it
Bella Louise11/09/06
Hey! This is a lovely idea you have here, though there are a couple of spelling/grammar errors. Firstly, "heroin" should be "heroine" (one e makes all the difference in meaning!), and "shined" should be "shone".

Other than that, lovely :D