The Official Writing Challenge
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The ending could have been stronger, and there were some minor typos- the woman should tell Daniel to get over "here", not "her." Also, when one person is addressing another (such as God, Chris, or Mom), you need to isolate their names from the rest of the sentence with commas. However, you have a very believable character with a strong desire to serve God as a missionary. You conveyed his struggle clearly throughout this story.
10/29/06
thank you for showing in your article that missionaries don't always happen in the exciting areas. A person can be used whereever they are, as long as they are willing.

I do agree that your ending is a little weak, but that might have been because of running out of words--that's understandable. And also, be careful of the grammer glitches and such.

Keep up the good work.
10/29/06
A believable story and you did describe your character very well. I enjoyed reading this. Nice job!
Nice twist at the end of the story! Keep up the good work.
11/01/06
Well, you got me! Unpredictable twist. I really enjoyed it. It made me want to go back and read what I'd missed. You have talent and imagination. Grammar can be addressed and fixed, but imagination is something else entirely. Keep up the good work.