The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
09/14/06
Very good point, and came across well.
I noticed in the second paragraph for one sentence it became present tense, and that threw me a little - though I really liked the analogy.
Keep writing!
09/16/06
This is written from a clever POV, and I appreciate the creativity. My problem is with the 3rd paragraph--how can a plant know what the scriptures say? My personal preference for this type of piece is for the "voice" of the story to only know what that (plant, animal, whatever) would actually know...dirt, sun, rain, the gardener, etc.

Great title!
09/18/06
The lesson you taught here is very well-stated. Great analogy to real life!

I guess I would be even more descriptive with what was happening to the plant as it germinated, grew, and observed its surroundings. Also, go through your article looking at verb tenses and making sure all agree. Sometimes you can determine a more eloquent way of writing a phrase or sentence by reading your article out loud, even if just to yourself.

My favorite line: "My role may be as small as peas, as medium as apples, as large as a magnolia flower, or as gigantic as the tallest tree so birds of the air can perch on my branches." For some reason that statement made me think about my own role.

Good job!