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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Melody (08/24/06)

TITLE: A Testimony to Melody
By A. E. Cuthbert
08/28/06


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Elizabeth waited nervously by the white picket fence that surrounded the farmhouse that was her home. She watched an old car make its way up the long driveway under a canopy of trees to the house. Elizabeth’s parents burst through the front door towards the car, greeting their old friends happily. Elizabeth did not move from her statue position, feeling as though her feet were glued to the ground. The couples joyfully exchanged hugs and smiles all-around. Elizabeth’s eyes roamed to the back of the car.

“Maybe she didn’t come,” she whispered to herself. To her great dismay, a blond headed teenager, about her age, came crawling out from the back seat of the car struggling with her purse. Elizabeth’s face fell.

“This is it. I have to do this.” She gathered all her courage. “Hey, Melody it’s great to see you!” Elizabeth made an attempt at an awkward hug.

“Yeah it’s been quite a few years, hasn’t it?” Melody gave her a heartwarming smile and turned to greet Elizabeth’s parents. Then they all made their way into the yellow farmhouse, with Elizabeth trailing behind. It has been a little over four years since Elizabeth had seen Melody. In fact, she knew how long to the exact day. She was fourteen the last time they spoke.

That evening the family enjoyed a long leisurely meal of roast chicken and potatoes in the country kitchen. Melody and her family seemed to be enjoying themselves, while Elizabeth kept quiet the whole time, wishing the evening were over…wishing that she didn’t have to do what her heart was telling her to do.

When the meal ended, Elizabeth and Melody’s parents went into the parlor for coffee leaving the two girls to talk. The situation that Elizabeth had dreaded was upon her. As Melody chatted about her travels over the last few weeks, a silent war was going on inside Elizabeth’s head.

“You have got to do it Elizabeth!”

“I hardly know her. I would just look like an idiot!”

“Everything is perfect. It’s like the opportunity has been laid in your lap!”

“I am too embarrassed!”

“Do it NOW!”

Melody finished talking to take a sip of her tea, glancing around the cluttered farmhouse. There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them before Elizabeth gathered all her courage again. Her legs were shaking nervously under the table.

“Why don’t we tell each other our testimonies….about how we came to know the Lord.” Elizabeth was trying to make her voice sound the opposite of what she was feeling. Melody smiled at this.

“Sure, that would be great. I’ll go first.” Melody gave an account of how she was addicted to drugs and alcohol at such a young age when a youth pastor had told her about Jesus. Elizabeth found the story fascinating but her mind kept wondering to what she would say….how she would say it.

“…and that is how I came to know Jesus.” Melody paused with a grin. There was the silence again. “So what is your testimony?” she offered sweetly. Beneath the table, Elizabeth was twisting her fingers together in agony.

“W…w…well,” Elizabeth began nervously. “When I was fourteen some family friends came to visit us for a few weeks during the summer.” She paused, but Melody encouraged her on.

“W…w…well, they had a little girl about my age who spoke to me about Jesus the whole time they were visiting. The way she spoke about Him was so real, and I wanted that relationship so badly that one night in my room…” Suddenly she burst into tears.

“It was you!” Elizabeth sobbed into her hands. “That little girl was you, and it happened when you family came to visit four years ago. I have not been the same person since.”

Melody reached her slender hand across the table, touching the arm of her friend. Elizabeth, embarrassed and with tears streaming down her face, looked up into Melody’s friendly eyes. She took a deep breath and then began the narrative that she had been rehearsing in her mind for years…her testimony to Melody.



*This is a true story. Melody is still my hero.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 09/03/06
What an awesome testimony!!Thank you so much for sharing it. The dialogue was so real, and the emotions so true!
terri tiffany09/05/06
What I liked - Excellent testimony and I liked how you portrayed her struggles. I liked how you built the scene.
What I might change- a few typos - your family instead of 'you' family.
I might rework the first paragraph some as it seemed there were two many 'houses' and 'homes' together. You might want to check on your adverbs if too many and use stronger verbs.
You have so much talent in writing good emotional stories and that is what will grab the reader despite a few mechanical needs here and there!