The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/31/06
This immediately struck me as beautiful lyrical prose with the "a flock of scarlet leaves" image. This is a beautiful piece. Thanks for sharing.
09/03/06
I could see the scene so vividly. You have a very good gift for description.
09/05/06
I liked this. My favorite line was "I had believed my heart was still full of deceit and so settled for "getting better" in lieu of the transformation He had wrought through Jesus, unwittingly clinging to my old self!" because I think it is true in my life. Thanks for the reminder that "getting better" isn't always good enough.
09/05/06
Lyrical writing, very nice.
09/06/06
So, so VERY powerful. Your language is amazing and so very visual, and what an AMAZING message expertly told. There isn't anything about this I DON'T LOVE!
You have a gift for description. Keep exercising it, and watch it blossom!
09/06/06
What I like - what descriptive words! What a good ending. I enjoyed the journey with him.
What I might change - I know it was probably intended on purpose to read that way, but I found line two difficult - that is should be turned around some...but then I continued to read and noticed you did that with many of your sentences perhaps to make it almost like a poem but not...? Again, going only as a reader, nothing more.:)