The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You write very well and I enjoyed your conclusion. It would be better if you used the active voice to show the story rather than just tell it. I'm just learning to do this myself. On the message board under writing tips there is a lot of information about writing in the active voice under the topic "Passives." It is helping me a lot.

Overall a well-written entry with a strong foundation. Good work.

BTW - Great title!
Your title drew me in and the pace kept me reading. Nice story with a great message. Good job.
Enjoyed this very much
Great message. Sometimes we do make the wrong choices, even if it is to keep mum when we should be voicing our concerns.