The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/14/05
For a minute there, I thought I was reading Aesop! What a great story. It was short and sweet, and your climax was followed closely by your denouement. Good use of alliteration! I found another word for Shrewdness: Perspicacity. Awesome, huh? Keep up the writing!
In His Grip,
KC
03/15/05
Cute story. The last line doesn't seem to quite fit with the rest of it though.
This was really good up until the ending. I think it could have used a little more drama, showing the Shepherd saving her in the nick of time more effectively. Or maybe with the sheep suffering a little because of straying.

Still a great job. I really liked it.
I really enjoyed your article. It had some drama and some very sweet moments. It is always great to know just how much our Great Shepherd loves us, protects us and gives us good things. The end was a nice surprise. Good job.
03/20/05
I can see this being used as a lovely children's story.
I think determining the audience determines the end. Here it read like a gentle children's moral lesson, one a parent could sit and talk about later with the child. If you added more drama, you would have to change the audience. I liked thinking about reading this to a young person
04/12/05
Beautiful allegory!~ Tame ending but I agree it depends on the intended audience.