The Official Writing Challenge
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08/24/06
Funny--I've had the EXACT same thoughts about some of the signs I've seen on churches, or even billboards. Do you suppose anyone every reads one and drives straight to a church and joins the choir?

This is very good--deftly written dialog, realistic characters and situations, witty, and not preachifying. Nice!
Excellent story. Original, believable, and gets the point across. Nice work.
08/28/06
Awesome storyline with believable characters and dialogue. Kept my attention well, drawing me into her feelings. Nicely executed.
08/28/06
I really liked this story! If we could only reach out and undo the harm well-meaning evangelistic people inflict by condemnation and judgment, our churches would be full!

Jessica was hurting. . . and suspicious of 'religious' people wanting to involve her. You did a great job of showing that!

I have to say, the one reason we began going to the church we are at right now is because someone in that church sent flowers or a plant or something after the death of our daughter and addressed them from the church. A few years later when we were trying to find a church, I remembered that. Service is one of the keys to reaching people with the Gospel. Great message! Thank you for sharing!
08/28/06
Great story and very believable! We always joke around about some of those signs, too! Sometimes they're downright obnoxious! LOL Great story. I love the flashback of the summer camp -- it helped frame her feelings and responses. Good work! :)
08/28/06
Very nice storytelling and dialog. Smoother transitioning from scenes would make this easier to read and absorb. I enjoyed your message. :)
08/29/06
You did a wonderful job of showing your lead character's distrust of the church, and found a completely logical way of bringing her around - often these "fictional" conversion stories seem unrealistic to me - but this one made perfect sense, if you know what I mean! Wonderfully written, too!!
08/29/06
Very good job, Jen. I really enjoyed reading this. I loved the message. When people start defining the cross with their words, the power of what is available to those who need it is greatly diminished. At least thats what I got from this marvelous story. great job!! God bless. Oh yes, the most powerful image I'm left with here is the pastor shook hands with his clothes coated with service to others. Very powerful.