The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 601 times
Member Comments
This is in many ways a lovely, lovely poem. I'd urge you to edit it a bit. For example, don't be afraid of "near rhymes" if they allow you to avoid awkward phrasings. An example:

And in my mind a picture forms
Of Calvary’s hilltop ripe with storm.

That's perfectly acceptable, and the flow is vastly improved.

I really, really like this poem, and would love to work with you on editing it. PM or e-mail me if you're interested.
I've added this to my favorites. I sure hope it places - this is an awesome poem.