The Official Writing Challenge
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08/25/06
This definitely gave me a lot to think about! I would love to see you expand this with perhaps some real-life examples of showing the two greatest commandments. Great ideas here!
08/28/06
You did say "take out the scalpel", right? This is very well-written and full of truth, great illustrations...but it doesn't really cover any new territory. A writer as talented as you are could easily stretch and write something with more "zing."
08/28/06
Accompanied with suitable pictures, this would make a very good gospel tract for an unbeliever. Thanks for writing!
08/28/06
As a devotional-type entry, it explains a lot. I agree with Jan on this one -- it's nice and neat, but not enough to grab the attention of your reader. Even when you present truth such as this, you want to grab them and keep them reading to the very end. It's nice but to reach those who might not understand these truths, you will need to present it in a way to capture them and keep them. Why not take some time and play around with this ... I think you're a great writer. Add some imagination and you've got a great piece! :)
08/28/06
I liked your hint on the boards. This would be a nice devotional - good explanation, but not really "grabbing" the attention. You do well with your word choices and flow, so keep at it - adding some sparkle could make this jump out and grab someone.